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Lyric Contests (36 posts)
30-March 08
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Any song with good melody and lyrics is going to catch my ear

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Icon   AndyLeF To a poet a thousand years past...

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  1. In Topic: City Lights - partial rewrite added 3/16/15

    Posted 10 Mar 2015

    Hi Justin,

    Here's my impressions reading down your lines - keep or sweep!

    Good luck with your song, the lyrics are a good start but do need some work to make them stand out if you are going to all the trouble of having this produced by someone really good - just mho.


    View PostOswlek, on 09 March 2015 - 09:28 PM, said:

    I'm not sure if this would have ever made it anywhere near the top of the to-do list, but a fabulous amateur producer just offered to work it up so why not, right?

    Lyrics are the big question seeing as I'll be only contributing vocal and acoustic tracks. There's one line I have my eyes on, but as usual, I'll share that later to ensure an unfettered first impression.

    Thanks! B)/>

    Seems so long ago I left home
    So full of hope
    Top rolled down wind blowing in my hair
    Sunglasses on

    Good scene setting but could do with a bit more originality imho to set it apart from the 'pack'...
    Some ideas:
    "Lifetimes ago when I left home
    My slate was clean
    Ready for the wind to write a story there
    Sunshades on"

    Took a few wrong paths now I'm "paths" => "tracks"? - keeps it open then as to the open road or 'life's' directions...
    On my back again Great line!
    Buried by the machine Good line here
    No more can I pretend

    Much better in these lines imo than the opening ones - fresh images and sets an expectation of coming action with the last line.

    City lights don't shine at night
    No they wait for me to pass by
    That "No" really trips up the start of this line - maybe "They wait for me to pass on by" would flow better.

    City dreams aren't all they seem
    'Cause nothing grows in concrete

    The last line ends very awkwardly here to my ear - maybe "In concrete, nothing can every grow" - then the singer will have a nice soft vowel sound to end on...

    Climbing out of the gutter
    yikes! man, there just has to be a better way of saying this!! - it's o.k as a place holder...
    "Falling off that bench", "Cardboard bed's so hard", "Soup kitchen...", "Homeless where can I go"

    In the morning light o.k
    Begging, pleading for some change o.k line but could be made to shine with a little work
    For one last bus ride This is good!

    City lights don't shine at night
    No they wait for me to pass by
    City dreams aren't all they seem
    'Cause nothing grows in concrete

    I've now listened to the way you sing these lines and your great vocals and spreading out of the vowels on the awkward words/lines do make the lines work some how - however, I'm sticking to my guns on the lyric comments - this has the potential to be (to use one of your phrases ;) - stella! B)
  2. In Topic: March Lyric Contest

    Posted 10 Mar 2015

    I'm a big fan of these challenges with rules that take lyric writers out of their comfort zones and lead them into doing something different - it may not be 'fun' initially, but given an open mind and a little time for the ideas to start flowing; showing how those rules might be approached, then the fun I find, comes back squared - just mho.

    Think Neal has done a tremendous job setting up that lyric contest and coming up with a really interesting set of rules that took a lot of effort to construct and will take to manage - kudos!

    The only think now is, is there enough time to do both lyric contests this month - hey, it's another challenge guys, get out of your comfort zones and set your keyboards humming! :)

  3. In Topic: Another Dumb Question.....

    Posted 8 Mar 2015

    Hi Neal,

    Why not set up a couple of stereo mics, put on some headphones with a click present and then record multiple takes of your self clapping in different positions and then just combine the takes?

  4. In Topic: "Lost Love"

    Posted 7 Mar 2015

    Thanks for listening and your useful comments:

    @Neal - thanks, yes she's got a great voice!

    @Justin - thanks for the Radiohead reference for backing vocals; always good to see how the professionals do it! Yes, I fully intend to give the backing vocals another go to make them smoother and more supportive.

    MikeB - that's strange, there's only a smidge of compression present now and I use good quality mics. Maybe you where listening to the previous version. Also, there is some reverb on the vocals - I'll maybe try a tad more, thanks for the suggestion.

    msza - yeah, olde English lyrics must seem very strange to you guys across the water! The breaks are certainly more upbeat than the older sounding verses; a compromise for me here as a composer as I'm not interested in composing folk music that's too 'traditional'!

    Cheers guys and thanks for song plays. :)

  5. In Topic: "Lost Love"

    Posted 5 Mar 2015

    Hi guys,

    Many thanks for all your great feedback :)

    I seem to have fallen down the trap I normally pick others up on doh!, Ill plead a build up of progressive studio deafness!

    Jambrains you are dead right - the urge to thicken the vocals by doubling too much was muddying them resulting in a boxy vocal sound. Think I've addressed that now.

    ClintLeonard yes, Ive fallen into the trap I complain about most in other peoples mixes; too much compression which was limiting the vocal and guitar dynamics.
    I looked for noise on the guitar recording but it seemed pretty clean to me could have been the amount of compression I was using pulling up the noise floor to an audible level. Think its better now.

    Neal thanks and yes, there was too much clutter detracting from the lead vocal. Ive cut the vocal harmony levels, strings and vocal doubling down and hope you can now follow the story more easily when you shut your eyes!
    (great test by the way!)

    Ive uploaded a new mix to soundclick and hope its an improvement - else Ill have to think about getting my ears syringed! :wacko:


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  1. Photo

    AndyLeF Icon

    29 Nov 2014 - 12:21
    Hi Bernie - think you are better off in Calif. - just wet and wet and wet over here! Good to meet you on the muse!
  2. Photo

    ironynotlost Icon

    29 Nov 2014 - 11:55
    Hello Andy, I'm stuck in Calif. US, but hail from Merry Old, way way back when I was 3 yrs. Bernie
  3. Photo

    AndyLeF Icon

    13 Mar 2014 - 06:35
    Hi Gwyneth - at long last, my comments is up and running - many thanks!
    Do be careful and choose a UK location above any local floodplain - we have had one heck of a lot a rain recently! Cheers
  4. Photo

    Gwyneth Rose Icon

    13 Mar 2014 - 05:27
    HI Andy,
    How do you do? LOL
    I see you reside in Essex. I'm coming back to the UK within the next 3 months. Going to live is Oxted, Surrey.
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