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Song Contests (32 posts)
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Lyricist, Composer or Both?:
Both
Musical Influences?:
Any song with good melody and lyrics is going to catch my ear

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Icon   AndyLeF To a poet a thousand years past...

Posts I've Made

  1. In Topic: Hey, Mr Wind

    Posted 27 Nov 2014

    Hi Donna,

    My last comment on this - else I'll just be whistling into the 'wind' ;)

    Think most folk might have a problem with believability if the lyric decides which way the wind has to blow - ummm, it certainly blew the lyric the wrong way for me when I read it!

    You could try for your second line: "If you're goin’ in my direction"

    But you would still need something like:
    I'd like to tag along
    There's a road to hit
    We’ll make a go of it
    I'll bring my bag along

    Good luck with the direction you decide to go in and...

    May the wind be with you, always :)

    Andy
  2. In Topic: December '14 Instrumental Comp

    Posted 27 Nov 2014

    Wont You Dance

    I was given a brief to come up with some catchy instrumental music for a Pinball machine demonstration at a conference.
    The music was to contain elements of a Harry Potter atmosphere - think 'spells', 'sorcerer's apprentice' type of thing.
  3. In Topic: Hey, Mr Wind

    Posted 22 Nov 2014

    Hi Donna,

    Seems to be coming on nicely - a few comments below,

    Andy


    View PostDonnaMarilyn, on 22 November 2014 - 07:04 AM, said:

    One of my February lyrics, but much revised. (I don't think I posted it earlier.)
    Not sure of genre. The AABAA structure puts it in the old show-tune category, but singer-songwriter might cover it as well. Heck, maybe even pop.

    I hear it as a fairly simple arrangement with FEMALE vocals, but no reason they couldn't be MALE.

    The text flows nicely with the melody I have in mind, but of course there'll be plenty of flexibility when it's with my collaborator.

    As always, your constructive critique is welcome. :)

    Donna

    Hey, Mr Wind

    Afraid I already have internal problems with the title - if it's a human 'Mr Wind' (instead of a 'wind' metaphor) then I unfortunately have images from a misspent youth watching spaghetti westerns and the 'beans' connotation(sorry).

    Maybe "Hey, Wirl Wind" - I could picture this as some guy who is literally capable of sweeping you of your feet ;)

    If it really is a 'wind' metahor then some of the lines seem kind of backwards to my mind:
    "You're goin’ in my direction" => "I'm going in your direction"
    "Maybe you should tag along" => "Maybe I should tag along"


    V1
    Hey, Mr Wind
    You're goin’ in my direction
    Maybe you should tag along
    There's a road to hit
    We’ll make a go of it
    Better bring your bag along

    V2
    Hey, Mr Wind
    We've got a cool connection
    Think I'm gonna like your style
    Need an atmosphere
    Far away from here
    Somewhere we can wander a while maybe "wander"=>"drift"? but no biggie

    Bridge
    I was confined, livin' life in my mind
    Couldn’t see the woods for the trees
    This line is good as a place holder but imho, a well worn out line - needs a fresh image here
    Now I do what I please
    Shootin' the breeze with the breeze This line started brilliantly but faltered at the end, maybe simply: "Shootin' with the breeze"

    V3
    Hey, Mr Wind
    I feel a strange affection
    It’s good to know you've got my back
    Everywhere’s my home
    It seems the world’s my own maybe "my"=>"our"? since you've struck up this relation ship with the 'wind'
    ‘Specially off the beaten track

    Good lines here! - good images, flows well and is fresh sounding :)

    Outro (repeat V1)
    Hey, Mr Wind
    You're goin’ in my direction
    Maybe you should tag along
    There's a road to hit
    We’ll make a go of it
    Better bring your bag along

    So, the 'wind' IS a metaphor I realize now and, since we can never change the wind's 'mind', imho it would sound more natural:
    Hey, Mr Wind
    I'm goin’ in your direction
    Maybe I can tag along?
    There's a road to hit
    We’ll make a go of it
    I'd better bring my bag along




    © 2014 Donna Devine
  4. In Topic: November 1+1 song comp

    Posted 22 Nov 2014

    Chamois Leather Beauty Queen

    © 2014 Andrew LeFevre Music and Lyrics

    She comes out on a sunny afternoon
    Wearing sprayed on jeans and humming tunes
    The sleepy neighborhood emergin’
    Wide eyed behind breathin’ curtin’s

    She can wax, she don’t wane
    Sure can entertain
    Singing in the rain on her window pane
    She’s a queen, reigns supreme, in your dreams
    Moving like a cat ‘til her body work gleams
    From Miami, she’s a chamois leather beauty queen

    Looks so innocent hosing down the car
    Moves in time to the sound of faint guitars
    Rubber neckers strain to catch a view
    Radio warns of cars backed up 5th Avenue

    She can wax, she don’t wane,
    Sure can entertain
    Singing in the rain on her window pane
    She’s a queen, reigns supreme, in your dreams
    Moving like a cat ‘til her body work gleams
    From Miami, she’s a chamois leather beauty queen

    Her old car’s treated better than a limousine
    Never seen ‘neath the curves of a beauty queen

    She can wax, she don’t wane
    Sure can entertain
    Singing in the rain on her window pane
    She’s a queen, reigns supreme, in your dreams
    Moving like a cat ‘til her body work gleams
    From Miami , she’s a chamois leather beauty queen
  5. In Topic: 1+1 Song Contest

    Posted 18 Nov 2014

    Hmmm, other 'anti' genre possibilities?

    anti-rock => maybe this would be simply - ballads?

    anti-country => sea shanties! (trucks swapped for boats, highways/interstates swapped for oceans)

    anti-blues => it's got to be comedy songs :P

    anti-Death Metal => elevator muzak? :ph34r:

    anti-Heavy Metal => spanish/flamenco?

    anti-jazz => Trance/Dance music (improvisation not allowed, repeat everything ad nauseam)

    anti-rap => ??

    Probably only just scratched the surface here...

    Andy

My Information

Member Title:
Inspirational Muse
Age:
Age Unknown
Birthday:
Birthday Unknown
Gender:
Location:
Essex, England
Interests:
Life, the Universe and everything...

Contact Information

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Click here to e-mail me
Website URL:
Website URL  http://soundclick.com/andylefevre

Comments

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  1. Photo

    AndyLeF Icon

    13 Mar 2014 - 06:35
    Hi Gwyneth - at long last, my comments is up and running - many thanks!
    Do be careful and choose a UK location above any local floodplain - we have had one heck of a lot a rain recently! Cheers
    Andy
  2. Photo

    Gwyneth Rose Icon

    13 Mar 2014 - 05:27
    HI Andy,
    How do you do? LOL
    I see you reside in Essex. I'm coming back to the UK within the next 3 months. Going to live is Oxted, Surrey.
    Cheers
    G
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