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Do you have an artistic effort you can't find a place for anywhere? a poem, a greeting/anniversary/birthday card that you made yourself....whatever? This is the place for all art. If you desire criticism of your work please let us know. We will try to help you out. Or if you wish to just to share your creativity in the verbal, visual or aural media without in-depth criticism we'd love to experience it. There are no mandatory reply to post ratios in this forum but the social muses do suggest that giving response to the work of others will be rewarded tenfold.

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"Alma" free verse

#1 User is offline   oxe57 Icon

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Posted 26 May 2012 - 08:42 AM

This poem began as a song (or was it the other way 'round?). Anywho from the 70's and one of my earliest attempts at creative writing. Thanks in advance................peace!


"Alma"


hang
you ornament
from your tree
but don't you shine
until you hear
from your maker

fall
then remain fallen
it is my turn
I am Alma
"the question is much more powerful than the answer" . . .

Music with meaning at: http://www.soundclick.com/solide

Lyrics, poetry, screenplays etc. at: http://www.storymani...o...nsR&alpha=E

#2 User is offline   John Kaniecki Icon

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Posted 28 May 2012 - 10:27 PM

Hi hope you are well. The first stanza I get the image of a Christmas tree. I don't follow the second. Who is Alma? Love, John Kaniecki

#3 User is offline   oxe57 Icon

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Posted 29 May 2012 - 06:45 PM

Please forgive my feeble attempt at poetics with this one. Something deep within obviously failed to come out. Thanks for your input.....................peace!
"the question is much more powerful than the answer" . . .

Music with meaning at: http://www.soundclick.com/solide

Lyrics, poetry, screenplays etc. at: http://www.storymani...o...nsR&alpha=E

#4 User is offline   John Kaniecki Icon

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Posted 29 May 2012 - 08:34 PM

I'd still like an explanation of the poem. It does intrigue me. Don't deem yourself a failure because I am ignorant and stupid!! :o Love, John Kaniecki

#5 User is offline   Theresa Icon

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Posted 30 May 2012 - 09:48 AM

Interesting..To be honest I've read it several times and not sure what it means...

I like it though...don't shine till you hear from your maker...very deep

Take care
Theresa

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Posted 31 May 2012 - 11:34 AM

Our conversation brings to light and interesting topic regarding poetry. What is poetry? Is poetry something for the intellect or is it simply a love affair with words? Is it aesthetic? Should poetry simply be accepted as is? Is poetry the same as song lyrics? Let the debate rage on...................peace!
"the question is much more powerful than the answer" . . .

Music with meaning at: http://www.soundclick.com/solide

Lyrics, poetry, screenplays etc. at: http://www.storymani...o...nsR&alpha=E

#7 User is offline   SatanInventedBras Icon

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Posted 31 May 2012 - 10:30 PM

this is confrontational - i love it! free verse rocks. i see something/someone trying to control, and something/someone else trying to break free. the tree ornament analogy is powerful.
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i am disinclined to acquiesce to your request.
thank you. we're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
i need a lover that won't drive me crazy.
i brought my pencil . . . gimme something to write on!

if you love someone, let him fly. or break his wings so he can't leave.
on a hot summer night would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses?
the boob has been deboobed.
if you choose not to decide you still have made a choice.
the opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
kill one man, you're a murderer. kill a million, a king. kill them all, a god.

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Posted 01 June 2012 - 07:57 AM

Thanks SIB. Could this be I've stumbled upon an allegory? Purely by accident of course. Thanks again..................peace!
"the question is much more powerful than the answer" . . .

Music with meaning at: http://www.soundclick.com/solide

Lyrics, poetry, screenplays etc. at: http://www.storymani...o...nsR&alpha=E

#9 User is offline   surfer Icon

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Posted 01 June 2012 - 08:57 AM

This is worth several re-readings.
Which I have.
The image engages the intellect: that's a sign of good poetry for me.

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Posted 01 June 2012 - 09:14 AM

an allegory from deep within

no ornament can be told

to be dim

As thy maker meets their own

So Alma begins...



#11 User is offline   oxe57 Icon

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Posted 01 June 2012 - 10:52 AM

Surfer and TP thanks for the input. Sometimes explaining what I write is more challenging than writing it. Thanks again........................peace!
"the question is much more powerful than the answer" . . .

Music with meaning at: http://www.soundclick.com/solide

Lyrics, poetry, screenplays etc. at: http://www.storymani...o...nsR&alpha=E

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