Muse's Muse Songwriting Message Board: Bad Information - Muse's Muse Songwriting Message Board

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Bad Information

#1 User is offline   Jim Colyer Icon

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Posted 22 April 2012 - 09:16 PM

Pam and I recorded this song in an Indiana basement with one guy playing all the instruments.

http://jimcolyer.com...t.xml%3Ft%3D111

I struggled for a week to pay my income tax
I thought I had it made and I could relax
I thought I had a refund coming in the mail
They said I owe more if I don't wanna go to jail
I had to postpone my vacation
I had Bad Information

I got along great with my boy friend
I thought I wouldn't mind getting married again
I ordered a cake, I picked out a dress
He said, "I don't love you, I couldn't care less"
Don't send those invitations
You've got Bad Information

Everytime I think I know what's going on
Somebody comes up and tells me I'm wrong
Somebody feels the need to set me straight
Change my way of thinking, change my fate

solo

I had an appointment at the beauty shop
I thought it was Thursday, 11 o'clock
I ran 3 red lights to get there on time
The girl said, "It's Friday at half past 9"
It's just another complication
I had Bad Information
It's one more aggravation
I had Bad Information

Jim Colyer ascap
JIM COLYER "Girl Album" http://www.jimcolyer.com

#2 User is offline   RickDieffenbach Icon

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Posted 23 April 2012 - 04:43 AM

Jim,

Pretty fun song overall. Like the tune itself. Would not change a thing in that. But I have a few lyrical thoughts.

1. "They said I owe more if I don't wanna go to jail"

how about instead...

They said I must pay more if I don't wanna go to jail

.. its an extra syllible, but somehow "pay" is more punchier than "owe"



2. Verse 2, this line:
He said, "I don't love you, I couldn't care less"

... I don't have a suggested replacement, but here's the concern. Verse 1 and verse 3 have a definite bit of subtle humor in them. Verse 2 was going in that direction until it hit this line. It kinda stops the subtle humor in it's tracks. I'm wondering what could be said there that is both serious and light at the same time, as in verse 1 and verse 3.



3. Bridge
Everytime I think I know what's going on
Somebody comes up and tells me I'm wrong

Somebody feels the need to set me straight
Change my way of thinking, change my fate

... I think the first 2 lines are perfect, both as themselves and as a bridge in the song.

But lines 3 and 4 I'm having a hard time seeing how they fits with the theme/story of the song. The "set me straight" part is good,, but the 2nd line "Change my way of thinking, change my fate" leaves me hanging. I think line 3 and 4 should be relooked at, like:

Everytime I think I know what's going on
Somebody comes up and tells me I'm wrong
Wish I had known ahead of time
Instead of kicking me so hard in the be*hind.

That may be too humorous, I just wanted to offer something to demo what I was trying to say in my words.

I much like the song!

Rick


Somebody feels the need to set me straight
Change my way of thinking, change my fate

#3 User is offline   Zeek Icon

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Posted 23 April 2012 - 01:16 PM

Rick gave you some awesome advice, as he usually does. Other than that there's a ho hum predictability to the tune. Looking for a chord or two to break from that simple 1/4/5 blues rock.

Lyrically there are too many "I's"...I did this, I did that. If you eliminated half of them it would beef up the lyric. Give me more show instead of telling me everything.

Zeek
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