Muse's Muse Songwriting Message Board: Rum and a One Night Stand - Muse's Muse Songwriting Message Board

Jump to content

Forum Rules

>Please use the “Forum Guidelines” link at the top of the screen to read General Policies.
>Remember that these songs are only going to be kept up here a maximum of 30 days. Keep a backup of your work.

Rules for Posting a Song:
1) Please critique 2 or more songs for every song you post.
2) Please post only one song per day.
3) Please keep it tasteful i.e. no overt sexuality or obscene, offensive language, etc.
4) Please indicate the intended genre below the title of your song, and also what kind of a critique you're after. Is this a song that you'll be promoting commercially? Is it a song you wrote simply because you wanted to and you'd like to make it better? The more info people have, the better they'll be able to give you the kind of feedback you're after. And please PLEASE note - if you're not really after critique at all, don't post here. The Artist's Cafe is happy to hear your completed songs. This is the place to post if you want honest feedback and are prepared to take what is given (what you do with it, is of course, up to you).
5) Please post the lyrics along with the clickable link to your song's music.
6) Only post songs you have written or have permission to post. Please don't post cover songs.
7) It is polite to acknowledge critiques, but please don’t overdo it by “bumping” your thread to the top too frequently.
8) If you revise the song, please give a date and post on the same thread, or folks will unknowingly still comment on the old one.
9) Please be sure to visit other areas of the board to both learn and spread your knowledge.

Rules for Critiquing a Song:
1) The purpose of this forum is to promote better song writing by providing encouragement and constructive feedback focused on improvement. Strive to be courteous and respectful in your critiques, keeping in mind that we all come to this forum with different perspectives, genre preferences and levels of experience.
2) Offer constructive criticism and suggestions you think may help the writer make the most of his or her vision of where they want to go with their song.
3) If you think something really works, say so. Make an attempt to say why you think it does. If you see areas you think could be improved, explain why you believe they need improvement and offer suggestions, if you have any.

Anonymity often helps us forget that there is a person at the other end of our critique. Imagine, if you can, that you are speaking to the writer face to face.

Thanks!
Page 1 of 1

Rum and a One Night Stand Starts a little slow

#1 User is offline   cindyrella Icon

  • A Muse's Muse
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 1,390
  • Joined: 09-September 10

Posted 24 March 2012 - 12:13 PM

Christophe put some great music to my words. We are still working on it though.

https://mail.google....3b&attid=0.1&zw

Rum and the One Night Stand
© 2012 Cindy Prince

Been so long ago now
The memory’s somewhat blurred
I remember drinking rum
My talking slightly slurred
I remember driving ‘round
His hand on top my knee
We stopped for a little kissing
Beneath a chestnut tree

Chorus
I should have known it
That rum and me don’t mix
If it hadn’t been for the rum
I’d never been in that fix
If it hadn’t been for that taste
I’d not had a wondering hand
Guess all I can sing about is
Rum and the one night stand

Bridge
I dare not drink any rum these days
Me and rum had to part our ways

It normally wasn’t like me
Cause I was the girl next door
But that rum, it fooled me
Like I’d never been fooled before
Now when I look back
I have to shake my head
And still this girl next door
Can blush such shades of red

Repeat chorus

#2 User is offline   kimberlyinnc Icon

  • Amused Muses Muser
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 5,812
  • Joined: 22-October 08
  • Gender:Female
  • Location:North Carolina
  • Interests:Writing, music, dance, but first is family, faith and my dogs

Posted 24 March 2012 - 01:54 PM

This link didn't take me to the song, Cindy

may wanna check it

Kim
KimberlyinNC
"Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man's growth without destroying his roots"
****My Songwriting Website****
www.littleikepublishing.com

#3 User is offline   Jim Colyer Icon

  • A Muse's Muse
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 1,034
  • Joined: 06-February 07
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Nashville, Tennessee
  • Interests:Music, travel, astronomy, New York Yankee baseball

Posted 24 March 2012 - 04:25 PM

Better stay away from that rum. It will get you in trouble.
Jim
JIM COLYER "Girl Album" http://www.jimcolyer.com

#4 User is offline   cindyrella Icon

  • A Muse's Muse
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 1,390
  • Joined: 09-September 10

Posted 27 March 2012 - 11:18 AM

View Postkimberlyinnc, on 24 March 2012 - 12:54 PM, said:

This link didn't take me to the song, Cindy

may wanna check it

Kim


Kim,
It works for me. Jim-it did for you too?
Cindy

#5 User is offline   Alistair S Icon

  • Pinko
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 11,735
  • Joined: 18-May 07
  • Gender:Male
  • Location:Reading, Berkshire, UK

Posted 27 March 2012 - 01:58 PM

No. It appears to go to Google (the sign in page for email). I don't think Jim listened at all.
My Soundclick Music Page
My Facebook Music Page
My Lyricadia Page

"In my opinion this is a bunch of filth and garbage and we need far less this type of lyrics gettin back in the ears of our children." - from a critique received

"When I was 5 years old, my mum always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wante to be when I grew up. I wrote down, "Happy". The told me I didn't understand the assignment and I told them they didn't understand life." John Lennon.

#6 User is offline   cindyrella Icon

  • A Muse's Muse
  • PipPipPipPipPip
  • Group: Members
  • Posts: 1,390
  • Joined: 09-September 10

Posted 30 March 2012 - 09:52 AM

Sorry about that. Not sure why it is like this. It will fix though.
Cindy
Page 1 of 1

1 User(s) are reading this topic
0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users