Muse's Muse Songwriting Message Board: Love is Everything - Muse's Muse Songwriting Message Board

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Anonymity often helps us forget that there is a person at the other end of our critique. Imagine, if you can, that you are speaking to the writer face to face.

Thanks!
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Love is Everything Trying to Rock the House

#1 User is offline   doinker Icon

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Posted 19 March 2012 - 04:55 PM

Thank you in advance for listening and helping me out with this one.
My two biggest concerns so far: the lyrics and the fact that the bass is really loud on my pre mix down but extremely quiet when I listen to the mixed version on my laptop. Can you guys hear the bass on your end?

Love is Everything (soundcloud)

Verse 1
I wake up from a dream riding on a blue train, chains wrapped on my bruised wrist, and heading for my cave.
A wrecking ball obliterates the silence.
The woman on the cliff undresses shyly.

Verse 2
Watch the trees burning down as the rain falls so hard. Lives at stake. Deals to make. How long until you break?
A blue little pill and a glass of water could make this easy or so much harder.

Chorus
Love is everything. There's no more debate and there's nothing to say unless you're one of the liars.
Love is everything. There's no more debate and there's nothing to say; just let your love grow higher.

Repeat Verse 1
Chorus
Outro
I don't know if I can.
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#2 User is offline   Jason Kalman Icon

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Posted 19 March 2012 - 10:14 PM

Doinker,
Ok, I really, really dig this song. Has a very Stone Temple Pilot's feel to me, which I love. Great harmonies, very original sounding song overall. I couldn't predict where you were going to go, which is great. There were some timing issues with the vocals (don't remember the exact moments) and guitars (1.40s for guitar and the lead at the end was slightly off too).... The electric rhythm guitar was a little too low in the mix, so I'd bring that up some. Other than some minor timing and mix issues I have no concerns, song wise this is a great track!
cheers,
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#3 User is offline   Some guy in San Diego Icon

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Posted 20 March 2012 - 01:39 AM

Very cool song! I love the creativity. You made some very cool sounds, although you're right that I can hear the bass fine in my headphones but can barely hear it from my laptop speakers. It actually sounds even ok without hearing much of the bass, but I do prefer hearing that heavy bass sound. It sounds like you could tighten things up around the 1:40 mark. It just seems like the parts need to synch up better. I think the lyrics are good. I would love to see this song performed live! Hopefully your bass player has two full stacks :)

#4 User is offline   doinker Icon

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Posted 22 March 2012 - 07:03 AM

Hi Jason and San Diego,

Thx for the feedback ... this is the kind of stuff I need to hear ... not a very detailed oriented person over here. I can definitely tighten up some of the these parts though and get a better mix down of this one. Thx again.
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#5 User is offline   ScenesFromPalacio Icon

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Posted 22 March 2012 - 07:42 AM

Doinker..I thought this was cool n creative - n a neat song...Could definitely hear shades of Pavement/Malkamus mixed with The Kinks (Your voice has a great Ray Davies lilt to it -from hearing your other tracks )..I dug the harmony all the way thru -Loved the intuitive descending verse vocal line going against the beat-Loved the 'There's nothing to say unless you're one of the liars' line (so true !)
I conceptually really like the off-kilter drums -but you're really walking a thin line if its not executed perfectly with that kind of thing (i know how difficult it is programming something like that )..Snares abit high up for me -teetering on being annoying -and you notice the odd beat thats not quite where it should be with something like this too..
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#6 User is offline   Dottie Icon

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Posted 23 March 2012 - 08:34 AM

Hi Doinker,

This is very different than what I'm used to listening to but it's so unique that I can't help but love it! I sure can't help with mixing or even critique the music for that matter but I can say that it sounds good to me. I have one small suggestion on the lyric.

"A blue little pill" I think this would sound more natural as "a little blue pill"

That's all I have. Even though it's not my genre I enjoyed it! :)

Dottie

#7 User is offline   TamsNumber4 Icon

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Posted 23 March 2012 - 05:52 PM

Brian,

I really like this song, but the drums when the vocals are silent seem too loud to me.

I want to say a few things were off (timing), but as the song goes on, either it all meshes or I'm under a spell!!! LOL!!

I did enjoy it, but would love for those drums to be taken down a bit, but only my opinion.


Tammy
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#8 User is offline   daddio Icon

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Posted 23 March 2012 - 07:22 PM

Wow, I really like everything about this. The bass comes through loud and clear and I really like the drums. Had me bouncing in my chair.
Great vocal sound and harmonies. Really fine work.
one tiny crit, I agree with Dottie. little blue pill instead of blue little pill reads better but now as I listen a second time around I see why you phrased it the way you did, better prosody. never mind, keep it the way it is. :)
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#9 User is offline   doinker Icon

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Posted 26 March 2012 - 05:10 PM

Hey Guys,

Really appreciate all the feedback, and I mostly just love having a cool and savvy group to exchange tracks with ... so much fun! Love the muse.

Steve, Working on a new mix with a dampened snare sound .... took the drums down in the mix a bit and patched up a couple awkward moments on the beat ... thx for the good crit.

Dottie and Daddio, Love that you guys had pretty much the same thought process as I did about this line. "Blue little pill" is a bit wierd, but Daddio is right that it doesn't quite fit the other way around. Thanks for listening.

Tammy, Thanks for listening! I agree with you now that 'yall have pointed it out. Drums = too loud. I took 'em down in the mix. My wife confused me a bit though when she said they were too quiet in the new mix I made yesterday:) ... going back for a happy medium in the revision. I appreciate your help.
-Brian
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