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Do you have an artistic effort you can't find a place for anywhere? a poem, a greeting/anniversary/birthday card that you made yourself....whatever? This is the place for all art. If you desire criticism of your work please let us know. We will try to help you out. Or if you wish to just to share your creativity in the verbal, visual or aural media without in-depth criticism we'd love to experience it. There are no mandatory reply to post ratios in this forum but the social muses do suggest that giving response to the work of others will be rewarded tenfold.

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A funny song I wrote

#1 User is offline   Monte Icon

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Posted 16 March 2012 - 03:39 PM

I don't want a critique on it, I'm doing it as a joke. Although I did send it in to a songwriting contest...I hope you find it amusing.

"I Can't Find A Roll Blues"

Woke up this mornin', Had to take me a dump
So I went in the bathroom, and I sat right on down
And when I was done, I looked all around
And then I realized a roll couldn't be found

(chorus)
So I'm stuck here,
Oh, man I'm stuck here
stuck here on the toilet
with the I Can't Find A Roll Blues

Got the shower curtain, this magazine too
this rug on the floor, not sure what to do
Don't really wanna, have to use my hand
I can't call for help, 'cause there's nobody around

(Chorus)
"Failure is an event, not a person. Yesterday ended last night." -- Zig Ziglar

"It is your attitude, not your aptitude, that determines your altitude." -- Zig Ziglar

"I am an expert in my own opinion." -- Dave Ramsey

"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem." -- Hank Hill

"It's KFC. They have chicken. Know what else they got? They got chicken!" -- John Pinette

"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it." -- Henry Ford



#2 User is offline   Alistair S Icon

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Posted 16 March 2012 - 04:37 PM

OK, I'll put it in Artists Cafe then.
My Soundclick Music Page
My Facebook Music Page

"In my opinion this is a bunch of filth and garbage and we need far less this type of lyrics gettin back in the ears of our children." - from a critique received

"When I was 5 years old, my mum always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wante to be when I grew up. I wrote down, "Happy". The told me I didn't understand the assignment and I told them they didn't understand life." John Lennon.

#3 User is offline   Monte Icon

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Posted 16 March 2012 - 08:16 PM

View PostAlistair S, on 16 March 2012 - 04:37 PM, said:

OK, I'll put it in Artists Cafe then.


Thanks. I'd forgotten about the Artist's Cafe.
"Failure is an event, not a person. Yesterday ended last night." -- Zig Ziglar

"It is your attitude, not your aptitude, that determines your altitude." -- Zig Ziglar

"I am an expert in my own opinion." -- Dave Ramsey

"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem." -- Hank Hill

"It's KFC. They have chicken. Know what else they got? They got chicken!" -- John Pinette

"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it." -- Henry Ford



#4 User is offline   Bruce N Icon

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Posted 17 March 2012 - 12:30 AM

You should call yourself "Screamin' Jay Monte." Posted Image

http://www.youtube.c...h?v=ic3g8Xnf7LI
The views and opinions expressed by me in the "Off Topic Forum" are mine, and mine alone and should not be considered as representing the views and opinions of this site, the site owner, or that of other Moderators.







#5 User is offline   DannyDep Icon

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Posted 19 March 2012 - 10:32 PM

Hi Monte,
I could have sworn that I replied to this. :unsure:
I found it both amusing :) and bemusing :huh: and for the same reasons.

This reminded me of my own roll blues feelings when my wife never thinks about putting out the extra roll after she’s done using a few sheets of the stuff. <_<
And she’s always telling me to conserve on Kleenex because I blow my nose too much. :angry:

Jeezzzz!!! You’d think that this paper had the same value as the Dead Sea scrolls or something. :o :D
Why can’t you women be more considerate? :lol:
I can hear the flack already. :rolleyes: B)
Good one. :)
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can only be measured by
the integrity of yourself and the friends
that take the trip with you."

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Posted Image
here is my Soundclick page,
Soundclick webpage
here is my Facebook page,
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and here is the rest.
My homepage.

#6 User is offline   NickSpangler Icon

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Posted 11 May 2012 - 07:36 PM

haha this definitely made me laugh! I woulda loved a twist at the end like

"Just as i flushed and was gonna leave
I realized oh god i have to pee
In my rush i forgot to lift the seat
just another mess i won't clean"

lol but you did a really good job!
"I've always looked for the perfect life to step into. I've taken all the paths to get where I wanted.But no matter where I go, I still come home me."

#7 User is offline   Rob Barratt Icon

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Posted 14 May 2012 - 08:04 AM

Well done Monte. Rock and roll? It's good to see an a songwriter who's not full of ****! Rob.

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