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Do you have an artistic effort you can't find a place for anywhere? a poem, a greeting/anniversary/birthday card that you made yourself....whatever? This is the place for all art. If you desire criticism of your work please let us know. We will try to help you out. Or if you wish to just to share your creativity in the verbal, visual or aural media without in-depth criticism we'd love to experience it. There are no mandatory reply to post ratios in this forum but the social muses do suggest that giving response to the work of others will be rewarded tenfold.

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Mr. Jones

#1 User is offline   jonie Icon

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Posted 24 February 2012 - 05:30 PM

A new member named aerex posted a lyric up recently where one of the lines spoke of him needing his life to feel "special". On one hand, it's endearing, this attitude so common with young adults these days. On the other, reality must come as a bit of a shock when they actually get "out there". All meant in good fun.

Mr. Jones

To think you worked so hard for that degree
Walked away assured you held the key
Took a nice long holiday
E-mailed a couple resumes
Dreaming of that bonus pay (and)
The possibilities

Welcome to the office, Mr. Jones
You'll fit in well with all the other drones
We know you have some great ideas
But don't carve them in stone, Mr Jones

We recommend the diner 'round the block
Employees must be mindful of the clock
It's never been our policy
To give away our time for free
If you don't care, you'll get to see
How much we like to dock

Welcome to the office, Mr. Jones
You''ll be filling in for Agnes on the phones
And Mr. Smithers needs a file
He's left behind at home, Mr. Jones

Just in case you're left with any doubt
That this is what the world is all about
Maybe there's a lucky few
Who never have to pay their dues
But Mr. Jones, that isn't you
So kindly, please don't shout

Welcome to the office, Mr. Jones
Here's your weekly pittance and some bones
We know about your grave concerns
But in this place, you're on your own
We're not about to coddle you
We don't care if you feel at home
Your mother thinks you're special but
To us you're just a clone
Mr. Jones
We have now sunk to a depth at which re-statement of the obvious is the first duty of intelligent men.
George Orwell

The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion.
Arthur C. Clarke

Don Martin Lyric of the Year 2008 & 2009
1 + 1 Song of the Year 2009 Ain't That True

My Soundclick Page
My lyrics and songs hosted by Lyricadia

#2 User is offline   DannyDep Icon

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Posted 25 February 2012 - 12:46 AM

Quote

this attitude so common with young adults these days
.
Hey Jonie, :angry:
I can remember those days. :rolleyes:
At least I think I can. :unsure: :P

Though it makes one feel sad for the kids today and the lack of opportunities compared to what we had way back when. :(
But just think, if they can make it through, how satisfying that would be for them. Good luck gang. :)

Nice writing. :)

P.S. It also reminded me of a song i wrote way back about getting out of that 9 to 5 day job.
Maybe i should try and make it a bit more listenable for today's audiences.
I'm pretty sure the theme will still be the same.
"The quality of life,
can only be measured by
the integrity of yourself and the friends
that take the trip with you."

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#3 User is offline   TamsNumber4 Icon

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Posted 01 March 2012 - 07:00 PM

Jonie,

This is very good and has such a great flow......

I certainly have been there myself and I think you really did a great job on this and I am

so happy you shared it!!

Tammy
Visit my SoundClick site for songs

~Look at everything as though you were seeing it either for the first or last time.~

Professor Albus Dumbledore: Words are, in my not-so-humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it.

#4 User is offline   oxe57 Icon

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Posted 06 March 2012 - 08:53 PM

A slice of life indeed. Probably more verse than poem but a good read none the less. Thanks for sharing.......................peace!
the whisper of a devil is louder than the scream of an angel-

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#5 User is offline   Theresa Icon

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Posted 25 March 2012 - 05:17 PM

A great read...so many can relate

Really enjoy all of your work

Take care

Theresa

#6 User is offline   paradise dismissed Icon

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Posted 30 March 2012 - 06:23 PM

interesting take on having mr. jones as the 'underdog', mr. jones is usually the one in the suit telling people what they can't do right?

and it was well written, very grounding

#7 User is offline   Rob Barratt Icon

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Posted 03 April 2012 - 02:13 PM

Well written Jonie. This is a sharp and satirical piece of observation of how it is today for many graduates. My girlfriend's daughter and my own daughters have been in a similar situation with organisations taking advantage of the situation and sometimes exploiting young people in the name of internships or similar

#8 User is offline   Ironknee Icon

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Posted 04 April 2012 - 09:27 PM

Hi Jonie...........I enjoyed the lyric....but I have to say that it is hard for me to relate.
I've always felt I was special...and everything I did was to prove it.
I think, in the end, we are as special as we make it! B) -Tom
"I Know The Truth By My Struggle Against It"

#9 User is offline   tidepool Icon

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Posted 13 May 2012 - 11:43 AM

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Jonie your talents are pure genius!

"Dance you happy slaves dance"

and if you're not happy, well...

"Dance anyways"

Cheers!


#10 User is offline   John Kaniecki Icon

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Posted 18 May 2012 - 09:24 PM

Hello, Hope you are well. I like this poem a great deal. It reminds me of things I'd rather forget. But it's good to remember. Love, John K

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