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Loneliness

#1 User is offline   A Beautiful Disaster Icon

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Posted 03 February 2012 - 03:02 PM

When loneliness pierces your heart like a thorn,
When memories seem to replay all your past,
When some contradictory feeling is born
To remnants of love that was not meant to last,
Your temple of hope is about to fall,
The shade of your sun is about to fade,
The wheel of your life is reluctant to roll,
It feels like a permanent dance on the blade.

You search for the answer in every small sign,
You trust every symbol, you wish on a star,
You drown your grief in a glass of mulled wine
You two used to drink in the same cozy bar.
You find the salvation in bittersweet lies,
In fact, it is clear like a crystalline ball:
Just look at yourself with your destiny's eyes,
You'll see love has never existed at all.
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#2 User is offline   Desertrose Icon

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Posted 04 February 2012 - 07:03 AM

I can relate so much to the first verse.
It made me sad reading this.
Beautifully written.

#3 User is offline   TamsNumber4 Icon

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Posted 05 February 2012 - 01:26 PM

I agree, that first verse is so amazing, I love it!!

What emotions that evokes!! Very nice!

Tammy
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#4 User is offline   Sunburst Icon

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Posted 05 February 2012 - 05:13 PM

In her book "The Women's Room", Marilyn French made the astute observation that "loneliness is not a longing for company, it's a longing for kind". The search for 'kind' of course is the equivalent of pot of gold at the end of the rainbow or the quest for the holy grail.
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#5 User is offline   DannyDep Icon

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Posted 05 February 2012 - 05:43 PM

View PostSunburst, on 05 February 2012 - 05:13 PM, said:

In her book "The Women's Room", Marilyn French made the astute observation that "loneliness is not a longing for company, it's a longing for kind". The search for 'kind' of course is the equivalent of pot of gold at the end of the rainbow or the quest for the holy grail.
or perhaps the quest for spiritual intimacy? :huh: ;)
"The quality of life,
can only be measured by
the integrity of yourself and the friends
that take the trip with you."

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#6 User is offline   DannyDep Icon

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Posted 06 February 2012 - 09:57 AM

Hi April,
Are you from the St. Peterburg FL area?
I've read your poem once again and can't help to think what beautiful images you might write
if you were to walk along Ft. Desoto beach ;)
Peace.
"The quality of life,
can only be measured by
the integrity of yourself and the friends
that take the trip with you."

Here are two of my friends,
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here is my Soundclick page,
Soundclick webpage
here is my Facebook page,
Facebook webpate
and here is the rest.
My homepage.

#7 User is offline   A Beautiful Disaster Icon

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Posted 06 February 2012 - 02:30 PM

Thanks a lot for your positive feedback, guys, it's nice to hear encouraging words from you!
Unfortunately, I am not in Florida though I wish I was there, but I am in another St. Petersburg, "the northern city with headlights-eyes", as I called it in one of my pieces.
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#8 User is offline   klo Icon

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Posted 11 February 2012 - 12:42 AM

You search for the answer in every small sign,


This is my favorite line, as I find myself doing this all the time. And the ending is bittersweet and heartbreaking to me. Sometimes we all do feel that we have not known real love.

Thanks for sharing :)

#9 User is offline   NickSpangler Icon

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Posted 11 May 2012 - 05:12 PM

I think loneliness is less of a reality and more of a fear...innate in every human. Some just hide it better, or dont let it bother them to an extent. Maybe it's ignorant to think we are always alone, but maybe its ignorant to think we have all these friends and trusted people.

Well in any case i loved what you wrote, definitely much truth lies in these words. Even if they aren't honest to other people, your words give off the impression that it's honest to YOU. which i think is the most important part of writing.

"Your temple of hope is about to fall,
The shade of your sun is about to fade,
The wheel of your life is reluctant to roll,
It feels like a permanent dance on the blade"

These were my favorite lines, really stuck out to me. Because when that temple is falling down, do you hold up the weight of the rubble or simply walk away?
Do you chase the ray's of the sun before they set?
Do you try to roll the unyielding wheel of life that won't budge? and how long before you give up?
What do you do when your treading on a sharp blade and one quick move can get you cut?

Great job!
"I've always looked for the perfect life to step into. I've taken all the paths to get where I wanted.But no matter where I go, I still come home me."

#10 User is offline   Theresa Icon

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Posted 11 May 2012 - 10:45 PM

Wow I missed this somehow

Such a profound, compelling experience in reading this

Wonderfully written

Great poem

Take care
Theresa

#11 User is offline   tidepool Icon

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Posted 13 May 2012 - 11:28 AM

Wow, Beautiful B)

i'm always impressed with the depth and reach of your prose

English, i assume, is your second language

i've been muttering the stuff all my life

only to grasp it half as well :blink:

Cheers!


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