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February Lyric Contest Now Open for Entries

#1 User is offline   Neal K Icon

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Posted 30 January 2012 - 06:55 PM

The February Lyric Contest is now open for entries.

The standard rules apply (you can read them in full here) but, in short, they are:

- Send your lyric to me (Neal K) by Private Message before the end of Sunday, February 5.
- You must have 25 posts to enter
- Lyrics must not have been posted on the Muse as a lyric or a song.
- No changes to a lyric once it has been submitted. The first version of the lyric you send WILL BE THE ONLY VERSION THAT I POST.


Scoring -
Scoring will commence on Monday, Febrary 6th but please do not send me your scores until I ask for them. Sometimes there are last minute entries that I don't get a chance to post until after the deadline, so wait until I givce you the go ahead before you send your scores.

Neal
The forest would be silent if only the best birds sang.

#2 User is offline   Neal K Icon

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Posted 31 January 2012 - 12:16 PM

He's my brother
-
(Verse 1)
They say he has a bad reputation
And he don't have too much education
They tell me he dosen't have no ambition
Trying to put me against my brother
-
I know we had a fight but we did get it over
And he talk's rough to my sister and mother
They say he's the worst of all the other's
But what they say to me it doesn't really matter
-
(Chorus 1)
He's my brother
We grew up together
Came out of one mother's womb
Ask bout him and I'll tell you
When he's in trouble, despite the vibes we've had
(he's my brother) I'll lend a helping hand
If you have a brother, a sister
You know what I mean when I say, he's my brother
-
(Verse 2)
Our mother raised us without a father
Standing by his side as a brother
They tell me that he doesn't have any future
Cause he choose to live life has a rasta
-
The police lock him up for smoking marijuana
Put him on a bail of two thousand dollars
They say they'll leave him in there to suffer
I'm against them because I want them to remember
-
(Chorus 2)
He's my brother
We grew up together
Came out of one mother's womb
Ask bout him and I'll tell you
When he's in trouble, despite the vibes we've had
(He's my brother) I'll lend a helping hand
If you love your brother, your sister
You know what I mean when I say, he's my brother
-
(bridge)
He can change I know he can
But they would never think such a thing bout him
I know you said he's bad and can't get no better
But I won't forsake my owe no not for another
-
(Chorus 3)
He's my brother
He's my brother(We grew up together)
Came out of one mother's womb
Ask bout him and I'll tell you
When he's in trouble, despite the vibes we've had
(He's my brother) I'll lend a helping hand
If you've lost a brother, a sister
You know what I mean when I say, he's my brother
-
(Solo, fade Out)
He's my brother.....
Oh my brother.....
Didn't grow with a father
Not trying to make excuse
Just want you to know how much means to me
Just like your brother and sister meant to you
Oh.....he's my brother.....
He's my brother.....
The forest would be silent if only the best birds sang.

#3 User is offline   Neal K Icon

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Posted 01 February 2012 - 12:27 PM

I Remember Georgia

I remember Georgia
The sound of that old screen door
Red dirt and magnolia
Daddy leaving to go to war

The sound of mama crying
When that yellow cab drove up
She wailed like she was dying
Shards from her coffee cup

Life has its lonesome valleys
Good days and bad
Forty-four years I’ve spent wandering
Between happy and sad

I remember Georgia
Daddy’s smile; his favorite chair
The pain and passing euphoria
The smell of pine in the air

Yes, I remember Georgia
The forest would be silent if only the best birds sang.

#4 User is offline   Neal K Icon

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Posted 01 February 2012 - 12:28 PM

The Promises of Princes

V1
I succumbed to dizzy heights
When my world was young
I was like Rapunzel
Let my hair become undone

V2
He promised he would catch me
As I leaned out on the ledge
I learned not to trust a prince
As I fell to the death...

C
The death of love...the death of trust
Crushed my beating heart
He shrugged n' said 'uh sorry'
As he made haste to depart.
I climbed broken...up the stairs
It took me many years
Now I am in no hurry
To be getting out of here.

I am in control
Of my body and my soul
The promises of Princes leave me cold.

V3
Now I've become the tower
Made of stone so cold and hard
Desire's not a fire
That your kindling can start

V4
You can circle round my walls
With grappling hooks and stakes
But I won't listen, I won't fall
For promises you make

C
The death of love...the death of trust
Crushed my beating heart
He shrugged n' said 'uh sorry'
As he made haste to depart.
I climbed broken...up the stairs
It took me many years
I'm scarred and in no hurry
To be getting out of here.

I stay in control
Of my body and my soul
The promises of Princes leave me cold.
The forest would be silent if only the best birds sang.

#5 User is offline   Neal K Icon

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Posted 01 February 2012 - 06:18 PM

We Are One

(Verse 1)
Take my hand
Hear my voice
Take this ring
I'm your choice
Just repeat
Words after me
In my eyes
You're all I see

(Verse 2)
Look at me
Tell me now
Say together
This sacred vow
With this ring
I thee wed
You're my blood
You're my bread

(Chorus)
I will never want anyone else but you
Just tell me you feel the same way
Now that we're joined in love
We are one for ever and a day

(Verse 3)
That afternoon
Our first dance
Kiss me now
A knowing glance
Waltz in time
Our favourite tune
I held you close
I felt you swoon

(Bridge)
It's been a wonderful day
That's all I want to hear you say

(Verse 4)
Guests have gone
Dance floor clear
Come with me
My precious dear
On our own
Our hotel room
Making love
Bride and groom

(Chorus)
I will never want anyone else but you
Just tell me you feel the same way
Now that we're joined together
We are one for ever and a day
We are one for ever and a day
We are one for ever and a day
The forest would be silent if only the best birds sang.

#6 User is offline   Neal K Icon

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Posted 02 February 2012 - 02:42 PM

Jesus, Can You Hear Me Now?

Can’t call me a saint
A holy roller, I’ ain’t
I’m just a man living on faith and wine
Yes! I played a part
But I never knew my heart
‘Till you blew my mind

Jesus, can you hear me now
The one voice in the wilderness that’s calling
Jesus, can you see me now
The candle in this empty sea of darkness

Determined and bent
My younger years were spent
With living out my life carefree of mind
Now that I’ve grown old
And my faith is taking hold
I see I was blind

How many roads lead to regret?
How many deserts crossed?
There was a name I did forget…
‘Till I learned how to pray when I was lost

Jesus, can you hear me now
The one voice in the wilderness that’s calling
Jesus, can you see me now
The candle in the empty sea of darkness

Some say God is dead
And the end time’s are ahead
While gold is touted as some sacred cow
From ruins to dust
In the good Lord, we must trust
More than ever now
The forest would be silent if only the best birds sang.

#7 User is offline   Neal K Icon

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Posted 03 February 2012 - 12:24 PM

Amelia

V1
Born into a century
When Man was bound to earth
You fought the chains of gravity
That shackled you since birth
No laws of men or God could hold you down
You were meant to soar,
Not (to) stay here on the ground

CHORUS:
Amelia… (You’re) a distant constellation
Amelia… A bird up in the sky
Amelia… (You’re) up among the angels
Amelia… You were born to fly

V2
A fateful day, an airplane ride
A great epiphany
You watched the future open wide
And saw your destiny
Walking through this world was not enough
You pulled the throttle back
And lifted off

CHORUS

BRIDGE:
Seeking richer atmosphere
You circled round the globe
Your luck ran out
Amelia… Where did you go?

CHORUS X 2

Tag: Amelia… You were born to fly
The forest would be silent if only the best birds sang.

#8 User is offline   Neal K Icon

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Posted 03 February 2012 - 03:11 PM

FOREVER AND A DAY

V1:
It's not easy
Plucking up the courage
To pick up the phone
And the pieces of our marriage
When I'm away
Seems like forever...

V2:
I'm a liar
I hope you know that
When I said "I don't love you
And I'm not coming back"
I lost my way
Seems like forever...

CHORUS:
Are you mad at me
Are you crazy enough to think
I could really leave, and give up everything
You saved my life
And I want you to know
Let me in, and I'll tell you so

V3:
Call me crazy
I'll understand
I had everybody's dream
In my own foolish hands
Why did I stray?
Seems like forever...

V4:
I'm a loser
And I could be losing you
Let me prove I can be trusted
We can talk our troubles through
What can I say?
Seems like forever... forever and a day

CHORUS

BRIDGE:
How I craved something else
When I already had it
Why I looked somewhere else
When I was looking at it
I don't know...

CHORUS
The forest would be silent if only the best birds sang.

#9 User is offline   Neal K Icon

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Posted 03 February 2012 - 04:31 PM

Swan Song

(intro)
Laughter flows in gold
Then teeters on a wave
Breaking on my heart
The visions that I crave

(v1)
Waiting in silence
I slip into a daze
Slowly beats the drum
A hypnotizing phrase
Mellow is the song
The night wind gently plays

(v2)
Sitting all alone
I face the breadth of night
Softly falls the shroud
A tantalizing sight
Heavy hangs the fog
A silver swan takes flight

(v3)
Rising in darkness
I peer up through the gloom
Sadly cries the swan
A mesmerizing tune
Echoes underneath
A melancholy moon

(bridge)
Sunrise is a dream
That moonbeams trade away
Every day

She retreats into the shadows of the night
Softly fall the rays but I can’t see the light
Refracted through my eye
Starlight makes me cry
Every night

(v4)
Stranded in darkness
My nerve’s about to break
Gently glides the bird
So tranquil in her wake
Pulling at my heart
Too tender now to take

(v5)
Standing all alone
I fear the depth of night
Quickly fades the haze
And I can see the light
Shining on my soul
Faint memory’s insight

(out)
Laughter flows in gold
Then teeters on a wave
Breaking on my heart
The visions that I crave
The forest would be silent if only the best birds sang.

#10 User is offline   Neal K Icon

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Posted 04 February 2012 - 05:11 PM

MY LIFE

My life is a candle in the night
Just enough to get me through
But that fire burns out too soon
My life is a boat on the waves
Trying to avoid the possible crash
And later on I can sit and laugh

CHORUS
Cause some things will never change
Though some days are easier than today
I know some things will never change

My life is a car stuck on a dirt road
That keeps spinning out its tires
And I'd swear I'm dancing on wires
My life is a book that’s left opened
For everyone to look and judge me
And there’s nothing they haven’t seen

CHORUS

And my life is a bottle of pills
It’s so easy to fall back down
But it’s harder to climb that hill

My life is anything I want it to be
The good and the ugly that I live
A faith that will never see me
That’s my life…
The forest would be silent if only the best birds sang.

#11 User is offline   Neal K Icon

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Posted 04 February 2012 - 05:11 PM

Teenage Love

V1
I’ve lost my faith
I’ve lost my mind
I’ve lost my way
We’re out of time

C
We fell in too deep
No one taught us how to swim
No one told us how to keep our heads above
Now we’re falling
Falling deep into the dark
No one told how to play the game, teenage love

V2
I’m so alone
I’m so upset
I’m so tired
Let’s just give up

C
We fell in too deep
No one taught us how to swim
No one told us how to keep our heads above
Now we’re falling
Falling deep into the dark
No one told how to play the game, teenage love
The forest would be silent if only the best birds sang.

#12 User is offline   Neal K Icon

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Posted 04 February 2012 - 05:12 PM

Song for an indie film soundtrack

You were told that you could “be someone”
But it was never nature’s plan
And now your time is almost gone
And a grave awaits an ordinary man

The mists of illusion blow away
You see your castle is made of sand
The flame of truth it burns today
And you stand revealed as an ordinary man.

You never had even fifteen minutes of fame in your life
Your insignificance stabs your heart, your anonymity twists the knife
But all around are millions for whom ordinariness is fine
Why did you have to ruin your life by poisoning your own mind

The veil of lies falls from your face
Your mask slips from your hand
You’re standing in no special place
Just one more simple ordinary man

And tomorrow waits, just an ordinary day.
The forest would be silent if only the best birds sang.

#13 User is offline   Neal K Icon

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Posted 06 February 2012 - 12:03 PM

Pleasure Den

Empty and silent by day
Only the singing birds to be heard
Till darkness draws the people of the night
To a still voice blaring in the shadowy moonlight

Ch:
Welcome to the pleasure den (ha, ha, ha)
Where anything goes and nobody cares
Tonight is open house, no cover no minimum
But you’re all in when you step into the night
So come in come in my friend
Let me take you on a one way trip - into the pleasure den.

V:
Party on and party long
Whisper, scream or anything in between
No matter as long as your mind is free
To follow the voice that leads you to your fantasy

Ch:
Welcome to the pleasure den (ha, ha ha)
Where anything goes and nobody cares
Tonight is open house, no cover no minimum
But you’re all in when you step into the night
So come in come in my friend
Let me take you on a one way trip – into the pleasure den.

Br:
Men in suits desperate housewives
Pick a partner
There’s candy, bud, mary and even Arnold
What’s your pleasure

Fade:
Empty and silent by day
Only the singing birds to be heard
The forest would be silent if only the best birds sang.

#14 User is offline   Neal K Icon

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Posted 06 February 2012 - 12:05 PM

Let Them Sing

When you try to take the words of the broken souls
And tie them down to keep them from their goals
Don’t clip their wings
Let them sing!

When you fill their heads to make them more confused
And scare them into feeling used
When the bells ring
Let them sing!

When you put all this evil on the news
And fuel the fire of their blues
Don’t taint one thing
Let them sing!

Come feel the rain
Come feel the pain
They’re both one and the same
Who’s to blame?

When you did what you could to take their voice
And thought you took their last choice
You forgot something
Hear them sing!

Hear them sing!
Hear them sing!
They’re going home!
The forest would be silent if only the best birds sang.

#15 User is offline   Neal K Icon

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Posted 06 February 2012 - 12:06 PM

Defending this whole City

On a clear day I can see the roofs of Bedford Hills
From this prison yard where time stands so still
In my mind I've climbed that fence a hundred times
But never once, never once did I make it out alive

Pre-chorus
The guard tower looks like a lighthouse
All that's missing is the sea

Chorus
A girl can only take so much
Of being slapped, kicked and cussed
I found the .22 he hid
And loaded it with stolen bullets
I heard the fatal shot ring out
Watched his sorry self fall down
I said I was defending me
They say they're defending this whole city

Sometimes I’ll stand and peel paint off these cold steel bars
And I've built mansions with a deck of cards
Sunday’s fourteen hundred and forty minutes
Another day, like every day no one’s been to visit

Pre-chorus
I see empty stares without a mirror
Till I drift off in my dreams

Chorus
A girl can only take so much
Of being slapped, kicked and cussed
I found the .22 he hid
And loaded it with stolen bullets
I heard the fatal shot ring out
Watched his sorry self fall down
I said I was defending me
They say they're defending this whole city


Bridge
I hope and pray one of these days
My torment will end
Then never again
No, never again
Will I have to climb that fence

Chorus
A girl can only take so much
Of being slapped, kicked and cussed
I found the .22 he hid
And loaded it with stolen bullets
I heard the fatal shot ring out
Watched his sorry self fall down
I said I was defending me
They say they're defending this whole city
The forest would be silent if only the best birds sang.

#16 User is offline   Neal K Icon

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Posted 06 February 2012 - 12:07 PM

I Don't Want To Be Alone Tonight

V1

When I was younger
I would fool around
Being single
Made me feel proud
Friends were present
Almost every night
Life was just a party
Things were going right

V2

As I grew older
There was change in me
Something inside
Opened me to see
This life is short
And I need to find
Someone who will comfort
And bring peace of mind

Chorus

I don't want to be alone tonight
I just want someone to hold me tight
I never thought I would say these words
But, here I am and still it sounds absurd
I must look desperate, but I'm really not
All I want is love for this lonely heart

V3

I'm optimistic
That someone out there
Searches for love
And wants to share
I'll keep going
Moving on with life
Just wishing for the day
I won't have to recite

Chorus

I don't want to be alone tonight
I just want someone to hold me tight
I never thought I would say these words
But, here I am and still it sounds absurd
I must look desperate, but I'm really not
All I want is love for this lonely heart
The forest would be silent if only the best birds sang.

#17 User is offline   Neal K Icon

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Posted 06 February 2012 - 12:08 PM

I Got Your Postcard Today

I'm driving down a midnight highway
while memories we made
lay easy on my mind

I'm finding lessons come the hard way
and I hope not too late
to do it right this time

Chorus
I got your postcard today
said you're in your new place
and that it's not home without me
So, I packed my suitcase
my fears and my mistakes
I'm speeding your way
to have my say
I got your postcard today

I'm learning that there's no one, but you
a friend I can turn to
that makes everything right

I'm seeing now there's no one, like you
my lover with a clue
wielding magic every night


Chorus
I got your postcard today
said you're in your new place
and that it's not home without me
So, I packed my suitcase
my fears and my mistakes
I'm speeding your way
to have my say
I got your postcard today

Bridge
Finally I'm following directions
to where my heart's leading me

Chorus
I got your postcard today
said you're in your new place
and that it's not home without me
So, I packed my suitcase
my fears and my mistakes
I'm speeding your way
to have my say
I got your postcard today

outtro
Thanking my lucky stars,
Fear didn't stand in my hearts way
when I got your postcard today
The forest would be silent if only the best birds sang.

#18 User is offline   Neal K Icon

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Posted 06 February 2012 - 12:09 PM

Something Lost

Twilight shines through beveled glass across the kitchen floor
This house has known its quiet times, but not like this before
The silence of my memories almost splits my ears
They hit like it was yesterday, but it’s been years

(chorus)
I didn’t know if I would find what I came looking for
And I can’t even say that I know what it is
I know I had something that I left behind
I lost something years ago that’s too hard to resist

The more I thought I had to make it all alone
The more I found myself drifting further from my home
With a feeling that I carry that never seems to fade
At night sometimes it rips through me like a razor blade

(chorus)

I took a walk around the lake out at Stony Creek
I thought if I listened hard, someone would start to speak
And for a moment I could swear I heard voices in the trees
But they were sounds of something lost carried by the breeze

Pale moonlight whispers through the bare-branch trees
And dead leaves blow along the ground like taunting mysteries
There’s a haunting feeling rising from this crooked trail
And it’s sure to get me, ‘cause my ghosts, they never fail

(chorus)
The forest would be silent if only the best birds sang.

#19 User is offline   Neal K Icon

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Posted 06 February 2012 - 12:11 PM

Uninvited Ghosts

Uninvited ghosts
Wait inside my door
Hover in the hallway
Glide across the floor
They don’t threaten harm
They leave me alone
But uninvited ghosts
Freeze me to the bone

Uninvited ghosts
Move in pantomime
I don’t need to hear
I know all their lines
I can’t change the ending
They ignore my pleas
Uninvited ghosts
Bring me to my knees

Bridge:
Shadows show and show again
What a sorry fool I’ve been

Uninvited ghosts
Act out old mistakes
All the bad decisions
And that final break
Now in an empty house
I play lonely host
Just me and one more bottle
And uninvited ghosts
The forest would be silent if only the best birds sang.

#20 User is offline   Neal K Icon

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Posted 06 February 2012 - 12:16 PM

The February Lyric Contest is now closed for entries and it is time to submit your scores.

Simply give each lyric a score between 1 and 10, and submit that score to me via private message.

If you have entered this contest, you are required to vote, but do not score your own lyric.

Scoring ends Midnight, Pacific Standard time, Wednesday, February 8.

Winners will be posted sometime the following day.

Here are the titles:



He's My Brother
I Remember Georgia
The Promises of Princes
We Are One
Jesus, Can You Hear Me Now?
Amelia
Forever and a Day
Swan Song
My Life
Teenage Love
Song for an indie film soundtrack
Pleasure Den
Let Them Sing
Defending this whole City
I Don't Want to be Alone Tonight
I Got your Postcard Today
Something Lost
Uninvited Ghosts
The forest would be silent if only the best birds sang.

#21 User is offline   Neal K Icon

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 01:00 PM

We have our winners.

1st Place
Uninvited Ghosts
scubed

2nd Place
Amelia
neuroron

Good job folks. Scube's lyric qualifies for the Don Martin Lyric of the Year.

Here are all the scores and all the writers.


Uninvited Ghosts scubed 6 7 8 5 9 8 8 8 9 4 9 5 6 8 8 7 115
Amelia neuroron 9 9 4 5 6 7 8 8 8 5 6 5 7 5 6 8 106
I Remember Georgia graybeard 6 8 7 7 7 7 8 10 5 3 7 6 5 5 7 7 105
Something Lost feegis 6 8 7 4 6 5 8 9 6 5 7 5 8 6 7 8 105
Song for an indie film soundtrack AMereHobbiest 5 8 6 8 8 5 5 6 6 3 6 6 8 6 7 7 100
Defending this whole City Dottie 8 6 4 5 7 4 7 9 6 4 6 5 7 7 6 7 98
I Don't Want to be Alone Tonight Spanishbuddah 8 7 6 5 6 4 6 9 6 4 7 4 6 6 6 7 97
I Got your Postcard Today Kimberlyinnc 6 7 5 5 6 7 7 7 7 4 6 4 5 5 7 7 95
The Promises of Princes starsinmyeyes 7 7 5 6 5 5 7 9 5 2 6 5 7 5 7 6 94
Let Them Sing Paradise dismissed 5 7 7 4 7 7 6 8 6 4 6 4 5 5 6 7 94
Jesus, Can You Hear Me Now? Ironknee 7 7 5 5 6 3 7 5 6 3 8 8 6 4 6 6 92
Swan Song Gordon 6 7 7 4 5 5 7 5 5 3 7 5 6 5 8 6 91
We Are One CabDryver 6 7 5 6 5 4 6 5 5 3 6 4 6 4 6 7 85
Forever and a Day adf 6 7 6 5 4 5 7 6 5 3 6 5 5 3 6 6 85
Pleasure Den Bernabby 7 6 4 4 5 3 6 6 6 4 6 4 5 3 7 7 83
My Life klo 5 7 4 4 5 4 5 7 5 4 6 4 5 4 7 5 81
Teenage Love The Eggmen 6 6 5 5 4 6 5 5 5 4 5 4 6 4 5 6 81
He's My Brother Irwin Abrigo 5 6 2 3 3 5 5 6 4 3 5 4 4 3 5 5 68
The forest would be silent if only the best birds sang.

#22 User is offline   kimberlyinnc Icon

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 02:10 PM

Congrats to Scubed for another win!! Great stuff girl. I had this lyric as my top choice too, it flowed wonderfully, said alot in a small space and was well written!

Congrats also to Ron for his song about Ms. Earhart. I always admired her, did a long spoken report on her in high school and she led an interesting life. It was well written and I hope you put her to music.

My 2nd choice was Defending this Whole City by Dottie. Good lyric, girlfriend! :)

I had two tied for 3rd.


Thanks for running this Neal...and again congrats!

Kimberly
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#23 User is offline   Ironknee Icon

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 02:45 PM

Congrats to scubed and neuroron!

And thanks for the 8's, 7's, and the 6's I received on my song :P

And special thanks for the one individual that voted me tops!! B)

AGAIN............CONGRTS TO THE WINNERS AND TO NEAL FOR RUNNING THIS! -Tom
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#24 User is offline   paradise dismissed Icon

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 03:23 PM

congrats to everyone who entered, and huge thanks as usual to neal.

im a little surprised my lyric scored as highly as it did, i projected it to go towards the very bottom...

and scubed i really liked your lyric, i think this is the first time i actually scored the winner with my top lyric.

#25 User is offline   Dottie Icon

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 03:39 PM

Congrats Scubed, I seem to be saying that a lot and it’s quite likely I’ll be saying it a lot more. :)

Congrats to you too Ron, I had you in 2nd place I know it will make a fine song. :)

My top vote went to Ironkee, I’ve had the pleasure of hearing the song on another site and I love it!

I tried to separate my top votes this month but I had I remember Ga. And AmereHobbiest’s song and Star's song tied for 3rd place. After that they were all bunched up.

Kim thanks for your vote on my lyric. :)

I thought there was something good about all of them.

Thanks for your time putting this together Neal. :)

Dottie

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 04:24 PM

View PostDottie, on 09 February 2012 - 12:39 PM, said:

Congrats Scubed, I seem to be saying that a lot and it’s quite likely I’ll be saying it a lot more. :)

Congrats to you too Ron, I had you in 2nd place I know it will make a fine song. :)

My top vote went to Ironkee, I’ve had the pleasure of hearing the song on another site and I love it!
I tried to separate my top votes this month but I had I remember Ga. And AmereHobbiest’s song and Star's song tied for 3rd place. After that they were all bunched up.

Kim thanks for your vote on my lyric. :)

I thought there was something good about all of them.

Thanks for your time putting this together Neal. :)

Dottie

So much for anonymity. Is this a case of voting for the writer and not the lyric? Why go through this whole exercise if people are going to other sites anyway to find the lyric and writer. Let's just send in our entries like they do in the song contests and dispense with the anonymity factor.

#27 User is offline   Dottie Icon

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 04:30 PM

Bernabby,

I didn't not vote for the writer, I loved for the lyric. There is no rule that says we can't hear or read the lyric on another site. If it makes you feel better even without hearing the song I would have voted for it because I love what it says! I just happen to have had the pleasure of hearing it. You're more than welcome to join JPF and if had you would have heard it too.

Oh and I didn't join JPF 2 years ago to wait on him to write this lyric so I'd hardly say I went looking for it.

Dottie

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 06:52 PM

I had “Uninvited Ghosts“ first, “Song for an indie film soundtrack” second and three way tie for third between “I Remember Georgia,” "Let Them Sing,” and “Defending this whole City.” As usual after that there are tightly packed clusters.

Congratulations Sharon (S3) and everyone else – When you enter a race and are not a DNF ["did not finish"] you are definitely a winner.

And especially thanks Neal. This contest is responsible for a new lyric-driven song every month for me. Your announcement was on very short notice this time and I thought I was going to have to work on something started before that needed revision, but after seeing the post, I went to Starbucks (on the way to the Bark Park) and saw a poster about Amelia Earhart and while running around the BP with the dog the song came to me. And while it is great to score well, it's producing the song that is the greatest reward. After submitting the entry as I played it a lot a better Bridge came to me - Lyrics can only be finished when the whole song is finished. - Ron
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#29 User is offline   spanishbuddha Icon

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 07:14 PM

Congratulations to Sharon & Neuroron!!

My top picks were "Song for an Indie Soundtrack", and "Something Lost", with the edge to Song for an Indie Soundtrack. I had a tie for second with "Defending this Whole city & Amelia running neck and neck. It was hard sorting through the batch, I liked so many of the lyrics!
Thank you Neal for your time and energy and I would imagine patience in the scoring dept! Without you and everyone at the muse, such a contest wouldn't be possible.

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 07:19 PM

View PostDottie, on 09 February 2012 - 01:30 PM, said:

Bernabby,

I didn't not vote for the writer, I loved for the lyric. There is no rule that says we can't hear or read the lyric on another site. If it makes you feel better even without hearing the song I would have voted for it because I love what it says! I just happen to have had the pleasure of hearing it. You're more than welcome to join JPF and if had you would have heard it too.

Oh and I didn't join JPF 2 years ago to wait on him to write this lyric so I'd hardly say I went looking for it.

Dottie

You missed my point. I don't believe that people will alter their voting just because they know who submitted what - people vote the best song even though they know the artist. That's why I don't think the anonymity factor is necessary in the lyric contest. I was simply pointing to the futility of trying to hide the author of a lyric. Do you think it would make a difference if you knew the writer or not?

#31 User is offline   Neal K Icon

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 08:21 PM

View Postbernabby, on 09 February 2012 - 04:19 PM, said:

[Do you think it would make a difference if you knew the writer or not?


Yes.

I don't just "think" it, I know it because I watched it happen before we decided to post the entries anonymously.

Neal
The forest would be silent if only the best birds sang.

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 08:37 PM

View PostNeal K, on 09 February 2012 - 05:21 PM, said:

View Postbernabby, on 09 February 2012 - 04:19 PM, said:

[Do you think it would make a difference if you knew the writer or not?


Yes.

I don't just "think" it, I know it because I watched it happen before we decided to post the entries anonymously.

Neal

ok.

#33 User is offline   scubed Icon

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 09:20 PM

Thanks so much, everyone, for the votes on "Uninvited Ghosts"! Kim and Paradise, I really appreciate your kind words. :)

I had Ron's "Amelia" and Feegis's "Something Lost" tied for first, with Graybeard's "I Remember Georgia" and a number of others tied for second - my scores were really bunched-up this month, as there were a lot of really good lyrics in the contest.

All in all, an impressive group of entries - especially considering the short turn-around time. It's always fun to read through the entries.

Neal, as always, thank you SOOO much for running this show (and putting up with the headaches)! :)

Sharon
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Posted 09 February 2012 - 09:28 PM

Congrats scubed. Had Amelia and Something Lost tied with the rest all bunched up closely. I enjoy these monthly challenges cause it motivates me to write at least one lyric a month. Out of ideas so I tried something out of the box. Looking forward to next month.

#35 User is offline   starsinmyeyes Icon

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 09:48 PM

Hi and CONGRATULATIONS to the top two this month, Scubed and Neuroron! Ron I had your Amelia as my top pick - it's a wonderful lyric, and I had I Remember Georgia, Something Lost and Song For An Indie Flim Soundtrack tied for second with Scubed's Uninvited Ghosts in third place.

A great bunch of lyrics this month as always! And on a personal note, groundbreaking! I've never received a 2 for a lyric before - so whomever you are, thankyou! It's a special moment for me! I figure I must be doing something right, for the '2 Club' has some very distinguished members, and I now settle into my place amongst them.

Neal has anyone ever received a zero? I'll be aiming high next month :D !!!
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#36 User is offline   kimberlyinnc Icon

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 10:00 PM

View Poststarsinmyeyes, on 09 February 2012 - 09:48 PM, said:

Hi and CONGRATULATIONS to the top two this month, Ron and Scubed! Ron I had your Amelia as my top pick - it's a wonderful lyric, and I had I Remember Georgia, Something Lost and Song For An Indie Flim Soundtrack tied for and with Scubed's Uninvited Ghosts in third place.

A great bunch of lyrics this month as always! And on a personal note, groundbreaking! I've never received a 2 for a lyric before - so whomever you are, thankyou! It's a special moment for me! I figure I must be doing something right, for the '2 Club' has some very distinguished members, and I now settle into my place amongst them.

Neal has anyone ever received a zero? I'll be aiming high next month :D !!!



HA HA!!...girlfriend, I have got you beat...on a song contest once when we were voting 1-5...I got a .5 !!! (not even bad enough for a 1 but a .5) :lol:
I would have loved to know why, not out of anger really, but out of figuring out where I had gone so wrong with the song in their eyes, but I was never told, they never fessed up. Which is their right. so..

It was hard to not take it personally since my name was on the song.
I have seen many get scores in the past where I scratched my head and thought, what the....? Either too high or too low...so it happens often...it is something I finally had to just laugh about and shrug off.
Though it's not always that easy ;) It can hurt and cut kinda deep sometimes and play havoc with my self esteem and sometimes makes me wanna throw in the towel on writing, but I am here to try to learn and improve.
I strive for that and as long as it fulfills something in me, then I am a winner in my own right by doing something creative and that I enjoy. (as are we all, that take a chance to share our creative and tender sides for all the world to see)

Hang in there girl. :P

Kimberly---
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#37 User is online   jonie Icon

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 11:35 PM

I didn't vote (thought I had some time left) but I've read through them and have to say I would have had a really difficult time of it. They were all wonderful lyrics. Loved the winners - congrats to Sharon and Ron. The real standout for me was graybeard's "I Remember Georgia". Simple and straight forward. A nice little gem.
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#38 User is offline   Gordon Icon

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Posted 09 February 2012 - 11:58 PM

Ah... very very nice lyric, Scubed!!

I still like yours from last month better, but this is really good, and i knew it was yours, and i did tie it for first for a variety of reasons. It is nice and clean and precise, and i love the way you work the ghosts into the rhyme in the last verse. I figured this was you, but i left a small percentage chance it was possibly Robbie Thinman gracing us with his presence again because i know he loves "ghosts"... he usually uses them a little more literally than you though...

I also really loved Neuroron's "Amelia" - this was just solid all the way through, and given the historical context, i suspected this was your work!

I tied Something Lost for my top spot as well. this one i found very complex and thoughtful... not that the others weren't or anything, but this seemed to have a deeper layer and a poetic backdrop... very solid writing, and i can hear this sung as well.

And I also tied Graybeard's "I Remember Georgia" for first... very simple, but expresses so much with so few words. This is like a Hemingway lyric! I have to say, because of the title, i think, i read this totally in a Jim Croce sound - like "Walking Back to Georgia"... it works right with that I think! and as i say, the title probably led me to that, but man, oh, man, it really fits, i swear!

After that, there were a large number i left tied for second. I think this means i artificially inflated my own score, but i assure you i did it only because i liked a lot of the others and couldn't decide on which one or two to "knock down" a point to lower my own average!

This was the first time i tied four in first place, but i really liked each for different reasons, and i just couldn't separate them!

I do want to make a few special mentions...

Stars... yours was so smooth... i was so close to putting you up with those four...

Ironknee - i did not hear yours on another site... but i really liked the lyric... it seemed it could be a gritty kind of thing... hey - i feel honored that i share the distinction of being the only lyrics that finished in the lower half, but took one first place vote. Dottie gave you a solo first vote (Dottie! I thought you like me!), but i only tied (though it was with Scubed's excellent lyric, so i feel flattered!). I really liked this lyric as is, though. I put it just off my top 4, but it was "high" in my cluster in the next level! In all honesty, i had this at number 5...

Dottie - i also had you just in this second tier, but your verse 1 was especially wonderful - this i thought was among the best individual verses the entire month!

Kim - my "absolute" scoring had yours at number 6, right behind Ironknee! of course, that doesn't mean a lot, it is only my opinion... but this was a nice easy read with a clear message, natural rhythm and familiar somehow, but not "cliche"... very nice

Bernabby - hey, this is my favorite from you so far! I thought this has wonderful potential for play and singer involvement, like ELP Karn Evil 9 or something... i think this could be a wonderfully fun song! On my absolute scale, i think i put you at number 8!!


ParadiseDismissed - don't be surprised you finished well... that is a nice, smooth, easy lyric... i like it a lot... left it middlin'... but... not sure why - it is solid...

I would really like to make a shout out to Irwin, too - I think this ended up lower than it deserved!! I think, Irwin, that there's a little language/usage issue that does ding you a bit with at least the "American" writers... but i picked up an Island Beat with steel drum and tho that isn't my "style"... it was strong, and even some of the phrases you use that may be "awkward to at least us midwest US people... i got a feel off it... there's a good story here, and i think a good island or "regae" beat, and with a little maintenance, and not sacrificing you island sound... this could be a lot better than what we all have given it credit for!!

I think lots of solid writing and ideas... and all of these are at least good drafts that people have obviously worked hard on... and we should all strive to improve them!!

#39 User is offline   Gordon Icon

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Posted 10 February 2012 - 12:05 AM

Oh, i should have said:

Thank you so much to my one fan that voted me tied with Scubed for first - you flatter me!!

I got a few 7s, but one seems to have been a legit tie for second, so i thank you as well!

I did not think this would do well because it is very "purple" and is in the same style as Broken, which i submitted back in August. In fact, this is the "companion" piece to Broken, written about the same woman... originally given to her as a poem on Valentine's Day a few years back...

I've had a number of my female friends pestering me to submit Swan Song, because it is their favorite thing i've written... i decided to relent and submit because it is February, and it was a V-Day poem, and i'm a bit nostalgic... and i wanted those women to stop bothering me!!!

thank you again to my few fans...

...and of course, thank you so much Neal for taking the time to run this competition!!!

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Posted 10 February 2012 - 03:21 AM

View Poststarsinmyeyes, on 09 February 2012 - 06:48 PM, said:

Hi and CONGRATULATIONS to the top two this month, Scubed and Neuroron! Ron I had your Amelia as my top pick - it's a wonderful lyric, and I had I Remember Georgia, Something Lost and Song For An Indie Flim Soundtrack tied for second with Scubed's Uninvited Ghosts in third place.

A great bunch of lyrics this month as always! And on a personal note, groundbreaking! I've never received a 2 for a lyric before - so whomever you are, thankyou! It's a special moment for me! I figure I must be doing something right, for the '2 Club' has some very distinguished members, and I now settle into my place amongst them.

Neal has anyone ever received a zero? I'll be aiming high next month :D !!!

That was me and you're welcome.

#41 User is offline   adf Icon

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Posted 10 February 2012 - 08:29 AM

I have to say, I was partial to the 'Amelia' lyric.

This contest reflects real life. You've got to get the reader's interest and keep it, and leave an impression. I failed to do that with my entry, so I'll be more determined for the March contest. I think it's called experience.

Andy

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Posted 10 February 2012 - 01:11 PM

Congratulations, Scubed, on First Place and to Neuroron for Second Place. Both excellent lyrics.

Sharon, I'm curious, are you a Lucinda Williams fan? I read your lyric and Lucinda Williams popped right in my head. She's one of my favorites, and I think she'd be proud to lay claim to Uninvited Ghosts. Great writing!

Quote

Thank you so much to my one fan that voted me tied with Scubed for first - you flatter me!!

That was me, Gordon! And, may I say, I was shocked your Swan Song came in where it did. "Heavy hangs the fog, a silver swan takes flight" caught my attention, and verse three hooked me. Nice writing, Gordon.

There was so much good writing going on here throughout the contest. Even on some of the lyrics where some things might need to be reworked in spots, the foundations of these lyrics, the ideas around which they revolve, are great. Irwin - you've got the makings for a great song. I truly think it's one you can work on and make something special. As for the other lyrics, every lyric seemed to have something that really made me consider it.

Thanks to those of you who thought well of mine. I was amused that the last line in mine seemed to serve as a segue into Sharon's "Uninvited Ghosts", with our lyrics being posted back to back. (Yes - I'm just trying to get you all to read them both again :lol:).

Thanks, Neal, for running the show!

Best Regards,
Feegis

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Posted 10 February 2012 - 01:39 PM

View PostAMereHobbyist, on 10 February 2012 - 07:32 AM, said:

Thanks to the people who voted me into a way higher position than I expected. In fact, I honestly don't think my downbeat, narrow-niche lyric should have rated so high in an open competition...Frank.

Frank,

I didn't think your's was "narrow niche" - only apparently so because of the title "Song for an indie film soundtrack" - Even for a film, the song title could have been "An Ordinary Man" and the perception of "narrow niche" disipates - Ron
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Posted 10 February 2012 - 05:48 PM

First; thanks to Neal for his time in running this contest.

I'm not a pessimist but when I read Uninvited Ghosts, I thought "Well, that's me done for this month. I'm reading the winning entry now".

Well done scubed.

Regards

Cab
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#45 User is offline   Ironknee Icon

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Posted 10 February 2012 - 08:27 PM

View Postneuroron, on 10 February 2012 - 08:39 AM, said:

View PostAMereHobbyist, on 10 February 2012 - 07:32 AM, said:

Thanks to the people who voted me into a way higher position than I expected. In fact, I honestly don't think my downbeat, narrow-niche lyric should have rated so high in an open competition...Frank.

Frank,

I didn't think your's was "narrow niche" - only apparently so because of the title "Song for an indie film soundtrack" - Even for a film, the song title could have been "An Ordinary Man" and the perception of "narrow niche" disipates - Ron


Here..Here....thanks for reminding me...of all the thoughts I was thinking when reading all the lyrics, it was why you didn't just entitle your song 'An Ordinary Man"...it would have been more powerful (and a little less pretencious)....I am the ordinary man...and I would have given you an extra point for a great title......(However, you got the top spot w/ me, anyways, on this one)!!! -Tom
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#46 User is offline   klo Icon

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Posted 10 February 2012 - 10:14 PM

Thanks to Neal and everyone who participated! It was a lot of fun voting.


My top votes were:

Let Them Sing - 8
Defending The Whole City - 9
I Don' Want To Be Alone Tonight - 9
Something Lost - 9
I Remember Georgia - 10
The Promises of Princes - 9
Amelia - 8

I was wondering how other's go about voting?? This time I made up a list of 5 areas I want to focus on when voting, but it would be cool if we had a guideline to go by. Don't know if this has been done before.

#47 User is offline   klo Icon

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Posted 10 February 2012 - 10:17 PM

View Postbernabby, on 09 February 2012 - 04:24 PM, said:

View PostDottie, on 09 February 2012 - 12:39 PM, said:

Congrats Scubed, I seem to be saying that a lot and it’s quite likely I’ll be saying it a lot more. :)

Congrats to you too Ron, I had you in 2nd place I know it will make a fine song. :)

My top vote went to Ironkee, I’ve had the pleasure of hearing the song on another site and I love it!
I tried to separate my top votes this month but I had I remember Ga. And AmereHobbiest’s song and Star's song tied for 3rd place. After that they were all bunched up.

Kim thanks for your vote on my lyric. :)

I thought there was something good about all of them.

Thanks for your time putting this together Neal. :)

Dottie

So much for anonymity. Is this a case of voting for the writer and not the lyric? Why go through this whole exercise if people are going to other sites anyway to find the lyric and writer. Let's just send in our entries like they do in the song contests and dispense with the anonymity factor.



I have to agree with you. No offense to anyone. But if this is the case then we might as well publicly submit our scores through a reply.

#48 User is offline   scubed Icon

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Posted 11 February 2012 - 12:42 PM

Feegis and Cab - thank you so much for those very kind words!

Feegis, although I'm not a huge Lucinda fan, she's written some songs I really love. I'm tremendously flattered that you think "Uninvited Ghosts" is Lucinda-worthy. :) The music I have for this is not her style, though - this lyric insists on being more New Orleans jazz than alt-country. Hope to have a rough demo up for critique soon.

All the best,

Scubed
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Posted 11 February 2012 - 04:51 PM

View Postklo, on 10 February 2012 - 07:14 PM, said:

Thanks to Neal and everyone who participated! It was a lot of fun voting.


My top votes were:

Let Them Sing - 8
Defending The Whole City - 9
I Don' Want To Be Alone Tonight - 9
Something Lost - 9
I Remember Georgia - 10
The Promises of Princes - 9
Amelia - 8

I was wondering how other's go about voting?? This time I made up a list of 5 areas I want to focus on when voting, but it would be cool if we had a guideline to go by. Don't know if this has been done before.

What were those 5 areas and how did you tie them into your voting? The one major guideline for me is if there is a story that I can follow from beginning to end. If I can get thtrough it on the first read with a smile it will certainly garner a top score from me. If I can't get past the first couple of lines without going back to re-read then it is very likely going to score lower. I think guidelines would restrct our freedom to judge and, quite frankly, I don't think many would follow them religiously.

#50 User is offline   Gordon Icon

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Posted 11 February 2012 - 09:02 PM

Personally, i score a couple different ways.

First run through, i just give a 1-10 "initial reaction" without thinking to hard about meter or rhyme scheme or anyting technical. I do give half-points here.

Second, i rate each one according to the "suggested scoring system" that is posted under Alistair's guidelines at the top of the contest board, but that i understand he did not develop, nor does he particularly like or use. This is one of the reasons i don't think i've ever given less than a 4, and usually never less than a 5 - so far as i've seen, everything i read people seem to have spent time on... worked pretty hard on... and so don't deserve a "scrap it all" or "looks like a first draft"... they all seem to me to be respectable drafts that have been revised, tweaked and adjusted somewhat. That, and if i just don't "get" someone, i really don't want to penalize them severely with a 1 or a 2 and hand someone else a 8 or 9 - that starts to become a big differential to overcome with relatively few voters if i've just totally missed something...

finally, i go through and rate each entry according to BubblingSoul's guidelines for how to critique a lyric. I have developed an Excel spreadsheet to tabulate the scores and autosum, average and rank.

Yes, i am a nerdy engineer. I believe i've made that abundantly clear in the past.

Anyway, at that point, i kind of size up how each of the three stack up... maybe have to make a few gut decisions... then typically end up rating everyone somewhere from 5 to 8 or 9...

it's a lengthy process for me.

it helps me to have like a Sam Adams or a Great Lakes' Irish Ale while i do this...

:D

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