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Results - Match the Melody Contest Results are in!

#1 User is offline   jonie Icon

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Posted 11 July 2010 - 06:07 AM

Scoring the Match the Melody Contest

1) Entrants must submit a score for all the lyrics but their own. Contestant's own lyrics will be awarded an average of the scores they give to the other lyrics (rounded up or down to the nearest 1)

2) Non voting entrants will be disqualified.

3) Scores can range from 1 - 10 (no half marks) with 10 being highest and 1 being lowest.

4) When scoring, the emphasis should be on how well the lyric matches the melody and the quality of the lyric itself. Probably more emphasis on how well the lyric matches the melody then on to the quality of the lyric.

5) One score only per lyric please.

Here's a list of the lyrics:

Twenty Years
Down on the Boulevard
In the Inn
Now You've Lost Me
On My Own Now
Dangerous
Byzantine

Once again, please PM scores to me by midnight July 31, 2010. That would be whenever midnight is for you.






Please use this thread to post your Match the Melody lyric entries only. (If you wish to remain anonymous, PM them to me and I will post them here)

Remember, to submit an entry, you must have at least 25 posts to your credit and have been a member for at least 30 days.

All entries must be posted or submitted to me by midnight, July 25th. Scoring will run from July 26th until July 31st. Winners will be announced on Aug 1st.

Please use the unpinned Match the Melody thread for any related discussions. If you have any questions you can PM me or post them up on the unpinned thread.

Here's the link to the melody and arrangement:

Match the Melody

Good luck to all.
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The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion.
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#2 User is offline   jonie Icon

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Posted 20 July 2010 - 04:24 PM

It appears that my Muse's mailbox was full. Anyone who tried to PM me their lyrics and was unable to, please try PM'ing them again.

Sorry about that.
We have now sunk to a depth at which re-statement of the obvious is the first duty of intelligent men.
George Orwell

The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion.
Arthur C. Clarke

Don Martin Lyric of the Year 2008 & 2009
1 + 1 Song of the Year 2009 Ain't That True

My Soundclick Page
My lyrics and songs hosted by Lyricadia

#3 User is offline   jonie Icon

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Posted 20 July 2010 - 04:35 PM

Twenty Years

v1/
Well it's been twenty lonely years
Since I was arrested
And the bedrock of my faith
Has been sorely tested

Lift/
They said I did it but I wasn't even at the scene
They said I did it
everything lined up the case was
clean

Ch
And when the wind is sighing
I still can hear you crying
And for a moment this prison that Iím in just disappears
and when the rain starts falling
I hear your voice still calling
Calling me to help you there on that night that cost me -
twenty years

v2/
Its been twenty lonely years
since you first deceived me
called me out there to that house
Though no-one once believes me

Lift/
I arrived I saw the blood I heard the sirens call
I knew that youíd gone, it was just me alone, I took the
fall

Ch/
And when the wind is sighing
I still can hear you crying
And for a moment this prison that Iím in just disappears
and when the rain starts falling
I hear your voice still calling
Calling me to help you there on that night that cost me -
twenty years

Bridge/
When the door is open
Someday will forgive
But these dreams wont leave me
No matter were I live

Ch/
And when the wind is sighing
I still can hear you crying
And for a moment this prison that Iím in just disappears
and when the rain starts falling
I hear your voice still calling
Calling me to help you there on that night that cost me -
twenty years
We have now sunk to a depth at which re-statement of the obvious is the first duty of intelligent men.
George Orwell

The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion.
Arthur C. Clarke

Don Martin Lyric of the Year 2008 & 2009
1 + 1 Song of the Year 2009 Ain't That True

My Soundclick Page
My lyrics and songs hosted by Lyricadia

#4 User is offline   jonie Icon

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Posted 22 July 2010 - 04:38 PM

In The Inn

(verses)
If I just look upon her face
she sees how much I love her
I Breath the air within her space
She smiles as I recover

I know it shows
and she could have me in the fastest heartbeat
I know she knows
That I will come to her in bare-feet...or on my knees

(chorus)
Down in The Inn I found her
With assorted men around her
I moved in quick, paid her price
In The Inn
It’s only vise

I want so bad to save her
And she returned the favor
Now I’m back and needing more
Outside her door...
In The Inn

(verses)
I keep hearing old clichés
Like she is my addiction
My heart’s telling me she stays
There's no contradiction

She’s saving me
From a life of bitter sweet & sorrow
I’m saving her
With money that I've come to borrow...perhaps tomorrow

(chorus)

(bridge)
I want her to have a home
Right now she won’t confirm

My world’s hers to roam
As of now she’s un-concerned..
We have now sunk to a depth at which re-statement of the obvious is the first duty of intelligent men.
George Orwell

The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion.
Arthur C. Clarke

Don Martin Lyric of the Year 2008 & 2009
1 + 1 Song of the Year 2009 Ain't That True

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#5 User is offline   jonie Icon

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Posted 23 July 2010 - 05:28 PM

Now Youíve Lost Me

V1 (0.14)
You say we have no time to lose
Ďní I am just a dreamer
Think that I donít have a clue
But things ainít what they seem, yeah

Rise (0.39.50)
Letís get a few things clear, youíre asking for some answers here
But letís get something straight, itís way too late for answers
Dear

Chorus (0.57)
I need to tell you something
Itís what you need to hear
You may say itís overdue
And thatís more than likely true
Itís time we faced the music
Itís high time we stopped dancing
We are only spinning round
So confused, but
Now youíve lost me

V2 (1.32.5)
You said you thought I was the one
So whyíd you try to change me?
You know, when all is said and done
I never needed saving

Rise (1.58)
Letís get a few things clear, youíre asking for some answers here
But letís get something straight, itís way too late for answers
Dear

Chorus (2.15.5)
I need to tell you something
Itís what you need to hear
You may say itís overdue
And thatís more than likely true
Itís time we faced the music
Itís high time we stopped dancing
We are only spinning round
So confused, but
Now youíve lost me

Bridge (2.49)
Time for you to know
You lost me, baby
Time for you to know
That this time Iím lost for good

Chorus (3.26)
I need to tell you something
Itís what you need to hear
You may say itís overdue
And thatís more than likely true
Itís time we faced the music
Itís high time we stopped dancing
We are only spinning round
So confused, but
Now youíve lost me
Now youíve lost me
Now youíve lost me
We have now sunk to a depth at which re-statement of the obvious is the first duty of intelligent men.
George Orwell

The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion.
Arthur C. Clarke

Don Martin Lyric of the Year 2008 & 2009
1 + 1 Song of the Year 2009 Ain't That True

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My lyrics and songs hosted by Lyricadia

#6 User is offline   jonie Icon

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Posted 23 July 2010 - 05:30 PM

On My Own Now

[Verse 1]
I used to long for your embrace
And value your opinions
Now you cannot stand up straight
Your headís filled with delusions

[Lift]
I thought I knew my place and where Iím meant to be right now
The straight and narrow got all bent and twisted up some how

[Chorus]
Iím on my way to somewhere
Hell bent on startiní over
Fueled by my integrity
Keeping pace with honesty

I left behind that madness
Holding my head up high
Hanginí on to self-respect
Iím on my own now

On my own now

[Verse 2]
I thought youíd choose me over booze
And then you told me, ďNo way!Ē
I had to make good on my word
And let you go your own way

[Lift]
I thought I knew my place and where Iím meant to be right now
The straight and narrow got all bent and twisted up some how

[Chorus]
Iím on my way to somewhere
Hell bent on startiní over
Fueled by my integrity
Keeping pace with honesty

I left behind that madness
Holding my head up high
Hanginí on to self-respect
Iím on my own now

On my own now

[Bridge]
Holdiní on by faith
my truth will guide me
Goiní down a path
to an unknown world alone

[Chorus]
Iím on my way to somewhere
Yes! Iím startiní over
Fueled by my integrity
Keeping pace with honesty

I left behind that madness
Holding my head up high
Hanginí on to self-respect
Iím on my own now

[Tag]
On my own now
On my own now
On my own now
We have now sunk to a depth at which re-statement of the obvious is the first duty of intelligent men.
George Orwell

The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion.
Arthur C. Clarke

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1 + 1 Song of the Year 2009 Ain't That True

My Soundclick Page
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#7 User is offline   RKG Icon

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Posted 25 July 2010 - 11:51 AM

DANGEROUS


[V1]
Got danger on my mind tonight
Time to use all my tricks
No way to get out of it
I've never been that slick

[Rise]
No regard for consequences no time to mend my fences
I'll be the desperate stranger break in with all the danger
Oh

[Chorus]
Danger will be my motto
Another desperado
Seeking courage from another bottle of discontent
Warning to all the sinners
Tonight there are no winners
Dangerous
I'm Dangerous
Feel the fear
I'm Dangerous

[V2]
To all the dealers in the city
For you there is no pity
This might be my curtain call
Indeed this could get gritty

[Rise]
No regard for consequences no time to mend my fences
I'll be the desperate stranger break in with all the danger
Oh

[Chorus]
Danger will be my motto
Another desperado
Seeking courage from another bottle of discontent
Warning to all the sinners
Tonight there are no winners
Dangerous
I'm Dangerous
Feel the fear
I'm Dangerous

[Bridge]
Loaded my revolver
No turning back now
Final problem solver
The end of all my cares
For now

[Chorus]
Danger will be my motto
Another desperado
Seeking courage from another bottle of discontent
Warning to all the sinners
Tonight there are no winners
Dangerous
I'm Dangerous
Feel the fear
I'm Dangerous
Dangerous
Dangerous

© 2010 RKG

#8 User is offline   jonie Icon

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Posted 25 July 2010 - 04:57 PM

Byzantine

Verse 1
She came from out of Byzantine
Burning with God's fervour
And in her hands were gold
Frankincense and murder

Rise
I saw an angel clothed in beauty from the eastern lands
The Lord's crusader with the sword of glory in her hands

Chorus
She walks the paths of vengeance
With the might of heaven
And I'm marching by her side
With her icon held up high
And when she holds me close
Her love's a benediction
She's my saviour and my saint
My religion
Byzantine

Verse 2
She shone her beauty down on me
Tore down my defenses
And then I swore my heart to her
Empress of my senses

Rise
I saw an angel clothed in beauty from the eastern airs
The Lord's crusader with the crown of glory in her hair

Chorus
She walks the paths of vengeance
With the might of heaven
And I'm marching by her side
With her icon held up high
And when she holds me close
Her love's a benediction
She's my saviour and my saint
My religion
Byzantine

Bridge
And if I try to wash the blood from my hands
She comes to give me comfort, absolving all my sins

Chorus
She walks the paths of vengeance
With the might of heaven
And I'm marching by her side
With her icon held up high
And when she holds me close
Her love's a benediction
She's my saviour and my saint
My religion
Byzantine
Byzantine
Byzantine
We have now sunk to a depth at which re-statement of the obvious is the first duty of intelligent men.
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The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion.
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1 + 1 Song of the Year 2009 Ain't That True

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#9 User is offline   jonie Icon

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Posted 26 July 2010 - 05:47 AM

Time to vote. Please PM your scores to me by July 31st. I'll announce the winner sometime on Aug 1st.

Great job everyone!


See further voting details in original post at top of page.
We have now sunk to a depth at which re-statement of the obvious is the first duty of intelligent men.
George Orwell

The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion.
Arthur C. Clarke

Don Martin Lyric of the Year 2008 & 2009
1 + 1 Song of the Year 2009 Ain't That True

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My lyrics and songs hosted by Lyricadia

#10 User is offline   jonie Icon

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Posted 27 July 2010 - 05:10 PM

Update

Four scores in (it's early) but there's already a lyric running in first place. Another one is nipping at it's heels and two more have the necessary traction to overtake the winner in the final lap.

I'll keep you posted.
We have now sunk to a depth at which re-statement of the obvious is the first duty of intelligent men.
George Orwell

The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion.
Arthur C. Clarke

Don Martin Lyric of the Year 2008 & 2009
1 + 1 Song of the Year 2009 Ain't That True

My Soundclick Page
My lyrics and songs hosted by Lyricadia

#11 User is offline   Billy Icon

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Posted 27 July 2010 - 05:45 PM

Hey Jonie,

I'd love to vote but I'm not sure what I'm doing? Am I listening to a body of music and singing the lyrics to it to see how well it fits? Are the lyrics set to the music somewhere? I'm not only confused but not very good at following directions. That always got me into trouble in school! ;) Help!

Okay, I guess we just sing along matching the ta dums? Right? Is this how it's done when some write to music or is this just an aid for the contest?

Zeek,
Great tune by the way!

P.s. Was Graybeard suppose to tag his lyric! :D

Thanks,
Billy

#12 User is offline   Salley Gardens Icon

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Posted 27 July 2010 - 06:42 PM

View PostBilly, on 27 July 2010 - 04:45 PM, said:

Okay, I guess we just sing along matching the ta dums? Right?

That's how I judged the lyrics, by singing them along to Zeek's te-dum recording. Sometimes I've had to sing a lyric over a few times to try to get it to fit, although it didn't always work for me. The easier the lyrics fit, the higher score I gave it.

#13 User is offline   Alistair S Icon

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Posted 27 July 2010 - 07:25 PM

I did exactly the same, Salley.

Maybe a slight adjustment after that, depending on how much I liked the lyric, but the "fit" was the main thing for me (and a fit with Zeek's sung melody, as sung, rather than how it could have been sung).

I suspect that, in a full collab, there may be more latitude than that. I also suspect that a full-blown la-la-la wouldn't always be supplied.
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#14 User is offline   Len Icon

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Posted 29 July 2010 - 01:48 AM

I scored them not only by the melody match but also by the emotional match. This great tune (kudos to Zeek) gave me a particular emotion and I looked for the lyrics to match that feeling. There are also some dramatic pauses and I took into account how well the lyric used these pauses as well.

Overall, I took the match and the quality of the lyric into equal measure.
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Posted 30 July 2010 - 12:59 AM

What a great little exercise, and huge kudos to Zeek for providing such an excellent melody and arrangement for the writers to work with.

I voted pretty much purely on prosody. I paid far less attention to the meaning of the lyrics than to how well I felt their phrasing, internal rhythm and internal melody matched Zeek's music, since that's what I felt this exercise was supposed to be about. Having said that, I thought they were all excellent lyrics in their own right. :)

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Posted 30 July 2010 - 06:33 AM

Quote

I voted pretty much purely on prosody. I paid far less attention to the meaning of the lyrics than to how well I felt their phrasing, internal rhythm and internal melody matched Zeek's music, since that's what I felt this exercise was supposed to be about


To me, this is the essence of the comp. I haven't voted yet but listened with this in mind. The meaning of the lyric is important but in this exercise, it's all about prosody. I like Len's bit about dramatic pauses too.
If two lyrics are very close, then the meaning of the lyric comes more into play. But if the prosody is not there, the meaning can't save it.
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#17 User is offline   jonie Icon

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Posted 30 July 2010 - 05:49 PM

Update:

With a day and a half (roughly) left for votes to come in, the two ponies who took the lead early on are still neck in neck. But keep your eyes on numbers 3 and 4. They ain't out of the running, yet. Not by a long shot.

This post has been edited by jonie: 31 July 2010 - 08:52 AM
Reason for edit: I don't mean numbers 3 and 4 in the list of lyrics. I mean the two lyrics currently in 3rd and 4th place.

We have now sunk to a depth at which re-statement of the obvious is the first duty of intelligent men.
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The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion.
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#18 User is offline   Zeek Icon

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Posted 31 July 2010 - 07:33 AM

I think I have the best view of this because I KNOW what my original lyric is (which I'll post after scoring is complete) and the mood of the song. Some very good lyrics here and honestly, all of them fit nicely into the melody. Great job everyone.

Zeek


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Posted 31 July 2010 - 08:17 AM

I've got to say, I loved this tune! It sounds a lot like Tom Petty to me! Very cool!

Billy

#20 User is offline   jonie Icon

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Posted 31 July 2010 - 09:03 AM

FINAL UPDATE:


We have now sunk to a depth at which re-statement of the obvious is the first duty of intelligent men.
George Orwell

The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion.
Arthur C. Clarke

Don Martin Lyric of the Year 2008 & 2009
1 + 1 Song of the Year 2009 Ain't That True

My Soundclick Page
My lyrics and songs hosted by Lyricadia

#21 User is offline   jonie Icon

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Posted 01 August 2010 - 09:24 AM

I'll have results up shortly. Just double-checking tallies and formulas.
We have now sunk to a depth at which re-statement of the obvious is the first duty of intelligent men.
George Orwell

The greatest tragedy in mankind's entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion.
Arthur C. Clarke

Don Martin Lyric of the Year 2008 & 2009
1 + 1 Song of the Year 2009 Ain't That True

My Soundclick Page
My lyrics and songs hosted by Lyricadia

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Posted 01 August 2010 - 09:31 AM

I cant wait!

Not for the announcement of the winner (although that will be good), but for the postmortem discussion on how the entrants approached the task - I will of course be giving my own thoughts!
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#23 User is offline   jonie Icon

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Posted 01 August 2010 - 09:59 AM

Without further ado

Tied for First Place
Now You've Lost Me (Alistair S) and Byzantine (Len)

Second Place honors to
On My Own Now (Salley Gardens)

A huge thank you to Zeek who so generously provided the music and melody for this contest
and to the 6 non-contestant voters Zeek, NigeQ, kimberleyinnc, Simple Simon, Billy and daddio.

Great job everyone!

Alistair S Ė Now You've Lost Me 8 9 8 6 7 10 6 6 6 10 7 5 7 = Total 95 Avg 7.31
Len Ė Byzantine 6 8 7 6 8 7 9 7 6 8 8 8 7 = Total 95 Avg 7.31
Sally Gardens Ė On My Own Now 7 6 6 7 9 9 5 8 8 9 7 3 8 = Total 92 Avg 7.08
Fabkebab Ė Twenty Years 6 8 5 5 8 7 6 7 7 7 10 6 6 = Total 88 Avg 6.77
Tidepool Ė In the Inn 5 7 6 6 7 6 6 5 6 7 6 3 5 = Total 75 Avg 5.77
RKG Ė Dangerous 5 7 5 6 3 8 8 5 2 5 5 2 4 = Total 65 Avg 5.00
Graybeard Ė Down on the Boulevard 5 6 5 3 4 8 4 6 3 4 5 4 4 = Total 61 Avg 4.69
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#24 User is offline   Alistair S Icon

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Posted 01 August 2010 - 10:13 AM

Wow! Something of a surprise!

Many thanks to Jonie for running this, and to Zeek for such a fine piece of music to write for :)

Thanks also to the non-contestant voters. This is a hard one to score, as it requires you to listen to the melody and sing along with every lyric to see if it fits. It's great that so many of you took the time. Thanks!

I had Salley as my top pick. To be honest, hers was the only lyric that I could hear fitting the melody all the way through, for every line (though some others did fit in almost all instances, and I'm sure they could be sung).

I also liked Len's lyric a lot, but was thrown by the 3rd line of verse 1 (were some words missing, Len?), so had to tie him with Tidepool and RKG.

It was an interesting exercise. Had we not had the sung melody, I feel sure that I would have written something different, and some lines would certainly have been shorter, letting the music play.

I'll hold back until the discussion starts on how people went about writing, and scoring.
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#25 User is offline   Billy Icon

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Posted 01 August 2010 - 10:16 AM

Not being a musician, I found this very difficult! Congratualtions to all of the winners and participants. Given my untrained ear, I thought some worked much better within the framework of the melody than others but I might be wrong in that assessment. I also thought, most people sort of butchered the pre-chorus but once again, I may be wrong. From my perspective, that seemed like the trickiest spot for everyone and I'm not sure I was matching the lyrics particularly well to the melody in this area as I read along with each piece. Personally, I thought Len's was the closest with Fabekab's a close second. I must say, Len's lyric blew me out of the water. I absolutely loved it and when it came down to it, it probably swayed me a bit in my final decision. I felt as though his matching of the melody was very good but to do it with such fantastic imagery and lyrics was in my mind, exceptional. Overall, I must say, there were a lot of strong lyrics. For me, I thought my top two picks were the strongest in both areas!

As I began the process, I was a little gun shy that I might gum the results up with my untrained ear but I suspect it all evens out in the end. I tried my best! ;) It made me realize how difficult of a process this is, at least for me! :P


Once again, congratulations to everyone. I'm going to use this melody to create my own lyric at some point, just as a way of practing and getting better. I didn't dare enter this contest becasue this seems to be a skill beyond my ability at this point but one I'm not going to give up on quite yet. In fact, one that I need to master to a certain degree if I really want to continue to progress as a lyricist and hopefully someday, songwriter! Speaking of the melody, it was, as I said previously, fantastic and in my opinion, Tom Petty-like. Which to me is a great compliment! In fact, I'm going to see him in a few weeks. Crosby, Stills and Nash are opening for him. How's that for a twin billing!


Great job!

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Posted 01 August 2010 - 10:59 AM

This was a lot of fun!

Thank You, Jonie, for working so hard to make it (and keep it) so...wonderful job! B)

Thank You, Zeek, for putting up a great piece of music for all of us to work with, and also your la di da melody work.

Congratulations, Alistair and Len...Very Fine Work Gents...and, kudos, to everyone who participated.

I scored Salley's piece highest. I thought it fit the la di das near perfect. I think I tied Alistair and Len right below her, so the results were not too surprising.

I just couldn't get the second line of my lift to fit. I kept wanting it to dive more despite the fact that it didn't. :lol:
This was an interesting exercise. However, it has becomes more difficult to write lyric without a melody. Maybe a lyric should be provided and let the musicians have at it... :D

#27 User is offline   jonie Icon

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Posted 01 August 2010 - 11:23 AM

View Posttidepool, on 01 August 2010 - 11:59 AM, said:

Maybe a lyric should be provided and let the musicians have at it... :D


We had that contest some while back. Coincidentally, it was a lyric of mine that had won a monthly lyric contest. It was prearranged that whatever lyric had won would be offered up for a Match the Lyric contest. I think there were 4 or 5 entries/recordings of each musician's interpretation. Each one was totally different and all were fabulous.

Maybe it's time for another?

Billy, have no fear, the top 3 positions (Alistair's, Len's and Salley's) stayed consistently in the top 3 throughout the entire voting. Your votes didn't gum up anything. :)
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Posted 01 August 2010 - 11:47 AM

It shows how good the entries were. I had Fabkebab first, Len second, and Alistair tied for third with Salley Gardens. They all sang fine with the melody.
Great job from all.
Ok, I'm up for a match the lyrics comp.
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#29 User is offline   Billy Icon

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Posted 01 August 2010 - 12:26 PM

What I'd really love to see is the winner's lyric set to this music so we could hear the final product? Easy for me to say! :D

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#30 User is offline   Len Icon

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Posted 01 August 2010 - 12:37 PM

Wow, this ia a pleasant surprise as I thought this was a quite insane lyric. I nearly didn't enter it as it was half done with two days left. Thanks for the votes.

Congrats to Alistair (I'll cough to screwing up line 2 in the chorus, where I did leave out a word in the draft; I think line 3 verse 1 is one syllable out?). Thanks Jonie, Zeek and the non-contestant voters. Now You've Lost Me was my top pick, then On My Own Now, followed by Twenty Years.

It's very hard to match a melody completely and Alistair mentioned that in any sane collaboration there is room for compromise, so I didn't worry about some stray hairs. I don't think any one lyric completely matched but some were very close.

Billy, you have the chops to write this way... don't hold back.

In the past, the "money shot" of these contests was to hear the winning lyric with the music, but with a joint No 1 that's a bit tricky :)

I've got a long diary of this I'll post up shortly.
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#31 User is offline   Len Icon

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Posted 01 August 2010 - 12:43 PM

Hi all. I love these contests. Most of the time we have to write lyrics in a vacuum and i find that i can use the same patterns over and over. When you set lyrics to a melody the dynamics are different, more musical, and i think the results are always more interesting.
I've compiled these thoughts as i've gone along, i hope these are interesting to someone.

1 Emotional Match
First of all, this was a great melody Zeek. It was begging for lyrics. I listened to it a few times just to get the emotional feel. It came to me as something cinematic, something dramatic so my thoughts for the subject of the lyric were in that line.

I'm reading about the Byzantium Empire this summer and the endless series of murders, coups and religious fanaticism sparked an idea. In particular, there was the Empress Irene who blinded and killed her own son to save her throne to a backdrop of Christianity, imperial splendor and endless war. Seemed cinematic enough for the tune.

Matching the melody was one thing but matching the mood was another. This didn't suit a soft love song in my opinion.

2 Melody Dynamics
The melody has strong dynamics, for example the 2nd and 4th lines of the verses are begging for dramatic statements, something with a bang. There's also that pauses for effect in the last chorus.

3 Story Arc
The first verse came out quickly and felt right but i struggled to develop the idea. Then i realised that with only two verses it didn't need to develop much. As long as the bridge carried it's weight and said something new then it would end well.

4 The Hook
Next was the hook. It sits up and begs at the end of the chorus but i wanted to bring it into the first two lines as well. That's good hook practice: use your hook early and often, and you can also hear it at the end of verse 1 line 1. The syllable count for the hook is a little unclear though. Is it three or four syllables? I chose three but made sure that the last syllable was open so that it could be sung over two notes if necessary. For example the "...tine" of byzantine can be smeared over two notes, but if the hook was, say, crackerjack that last syllable doesn't smear well at all. One lyric used the hook "twenty years". That works well as "years" can be sung as one or two notes; it smears well, it's almost 1.5 syllables.

Regardless, when writing lyrics to music we don't need to fill each and every note. It's good to leave space for the singer to express themselves. It's not necessary to put a syllable on top of each note.

5 Developing the Lyric
So, with the hook chosen i had to use it in the first verse, so I moved the first verse to the second verse and wrote a new first verse using the hook.

6 The Deadline
The last point i want to raise is the deadline. I had one verse, the rise and the chorus written after one week. I wrote the rest in the last day before the deadline. Deadlines really can help you cut the crap and force you to finish. I had an earlier version of the rise that used the rhyme "saint" but damn it's a hard word to rhyme. On deadline day i ditched the rise and wrote a new one.
Pressure can be inspiring.

Well if you've read this far, thanks and i hope these thoughts have been useful. Thanks for running it Jonie, though please don't change the format :)
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#32 User is offline   jonie Icon

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Posted 01 August 2010 - 12:58 PM

View PostLen, on 01 August 2010 - 01:43 PM, said:

Thanks for running it Jonie, though please don't change the format :)


What part of the format? As far as I could remember (there are no previous contests available for reference), I thought I ran this pretty much along the same lines as previous MTM comps, with maybe the exception of doing away with asking for 2 separate scores for each entry.
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#33 User is offline   Len Icon

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Posted 01 August 2010 - 01:19 PM

View Postjonie, on 01 August 2010 - 08:58 PM, said:

View PostLen, on 01 August 2010 - 01:43 PM, said:

Thanks for running it Jonie, though please don't change the format :)


What part of the format? As far as I could remember (there are no previous contests available for reference), I thought I ran this pretty much along the same lines as previous MTM comps, with maybe the exception of doing away with asking for 2 separate scores for each entry.

This contest started off as a "Match the Arrangement" before Zeek added a melody track. I'm just asking that we keep it focused on the melody.
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#34 User is offline   fabkebab Icon

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Posted 01 August 2010 - 01:33 PM

Well done to the winners-

I must say I thought your lyric (Len) captured my imagination the most, although I think it was Salley's that most closely matched the meter, which seemed to be the prime voting criteria.

I dashed my lyric off before going on vacation and as soon as Jonie posted it I realised I had a few typos in there. Before I went, I was sure that everything lined up perfectly, but on returning from my break I struggled with some of my lines. I almost think that if I had written out the verses differently (with newlines in the right places) it would have made the lyric easier to follow. Easy to say in hindsigt.

I think Zeke did a great job with the melody - It had a few unusual phrasings but that was part of the challenge. I listened to the song quite a few times, jotting down phrases that matched how the melody made me feel - The kind of "dirty" slide guitar immediately made me think of prisons in the southern states of USA so I tried to write my (corny) lyric along those lines, trying to draw the phrases together. The bridge was obviously the part for me when the doors are open and the light streams in. Anyway for me the lyric writing was 100% driven by how the music made me "feel" or the pictures it put in my head- I tried to let the music write the lyrics for me :-)


I bet the instrumental track must be doing well in the soundclick charts!!

Actually I checked my scores and I went with my heart and voted Byzantine number one and my second pick was dangerous
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#35 User is offline   Salley Gardens Icon

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Posted 01 August 2010 - 03:40 PM

Wow! Congrats Len and Alistair! Your lyrics got my top two votes.

It *really* tickles that I'm surrounded by you two and Fab (okay, not *that* kind of tickle :blink: )... you're some of my favorite songwriters on the Muse!

I find it a really tough exercise. I've attempted (and failed) to complete an entry each time this contest has come up, beginning with Daddio's supplied melody. Anyone who manages to complete an entry deserves great kudos. All the entries this time around had some great lines.

Thanks, Len for the low-down on your approach. Like Fab, I'm looking forward to hearing how everyone approached this. (I'll post mine later...)

Zeek provided a great melody... I'm looking forward to hear his original. Zeek, maybe you can post the "arrangement" version again, and anyone able to can sync their lyrics to it.

Thank you, Jonie!

#36 User is offline   Alistair S Icon

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Posted 01 August 2010 - 04:03 PM

For me, I was being nagged by Jonie to get an entry in (I think she was worried at that stage about a lack of entries!). I had an hoyr to spare during a work day, so I knocked something out. To me, it was a fairly generic rock song, and didn't call for anything too deep.

I then listened to it later and listened more closely to how Zeek was singing, and changed a word here and there.

Had we not had the melody, and just the arrangement, I would have written something different. As it was, I felt that it was key to write exactly to the way Zeek sang the melody (and I think I did, re-listening to some parts to be sure if I heard an extra syllable or not).

While I agree with Len's point about letting the music breathe, I felt that this contest was to exactly match the melody as sung, and stuck to that - even when I wanted to do something different.

When it came to voting, I took an exact melody match as an "average point".. (i.e. I gave 5 for a melody match). Few matched, in my view (and I am curious as to how some "heard" it).

I then gave points for having something that was a good and interesting lyric. In the latter category (good and interesting), Len's was a winner for me.

As for my lyric, I felt I matched the melody exactly, but I wasn't happy with the content or meaning. That's what comes of spending an hour on something, I guess.

It would be fascinating to hear people sing their own lyric to the melody. I'm happy to do that, if anyone is interested.

I'd also be fascinated to read or hear Zeek's original lyric.
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#37 User is offline   Zeek Icon

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Posted 01 August 2010 - 06:10 PM

I am so happy to have been a part of this and have my melody so well received! I had On My Own and Byzantine 1 & 2, with 20 years 3rd...all placed no lower than 6 with me. I thought everyone captured the mood of the song. I would love to do 2 things:
1) Provide another melody when needed
2) Anyone who wants to do a vocal and send me the wav file is more than welcome. I'll mix it down with their vocal and lyric.

Here's the original version, which is also posted for comments in the song feedback section.

Thanks again...

Zeek


http://soundclick.co...?songid=9452358

#38 User is offline   Billy Icon

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Posted 01 August 2010 - 06:32 PM

View PostZeek, on 01 August 2010 - 07:10 PM, said:

2) Anyone who wants to do a vocal and send me the wav file is more than welcome. I'll mix it down with their vocal and lyric.


It seemed far too presumptuous to suggest, but I'm glad your offering. I hope people take you up on the offer. I'd love to hear a few, if not all of these! What a kind and generous offer! I'm also anxious to listen to your version. I'm heading out now but I'll give it a listen when I get back. I just thought I'd say for the 3rd or 4th time what a great melody this was. It made listening to all of the entries very enjoyable!


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#39 User is offline   fabkebab Icon

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Posted 01 August 2010 - 06:39 PM

View PostBilly, on 01 August 2010 - 07:32 PM, said:

View PostZeek, on 01 August 2010 - 07:10 PM, said:

2) Anyone who wants to do a vocal and send me the wav file is more than welcome. I'll mix it down with their vocal and lyric.


It seemed far too presumptuous to suggest, but I'm glad your offering. I hope people take you up on the offer. I'd love to hear a few, if not all of these! What a kind and generous offer! I'm also anxious to listen to your version. I'm heading out now but I'll give it a listen when I get back. I just thought I'd say for the 3rd or 4th time what a great melody this was. It made listening to all of the entries very enjoyable!


Billy



Oh yeah - I will try it!!


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Posted 01 August 2010 - 08:35 PM

This was a grueling challenge for me. Unlike the others who have honed lyrical chops, my mind couldn't wrap text into the melody at *all*. I decided to create a draft containing *any* words or phrases that fit the emphases in the song. It was complete gibberish, but at least it was text. I figured this might activate that part of my brain, and then I could go about transforming the gibberish into "real" lyrics. Two days before the deadline, I came up with the first line that that wasn't sheer nonsense...

Because this process took me so long (nearly all two weeks!), I thought I was going to miss the deadline (as always!). I decided to concentrate strictly on prosody first, and making any kind of sense, second. I think I accomplished those two objectives to some degree, but fell far short on "good" lyric writing (rhyme schemes, poetic devices, avoiding cliché, etc.)

I was pleased with the prosody match, but aware that only people with my particular Wantagh, Long Island, New York accent might agree... For example, the word "narrow" sounds completely different in Wantagh than it does where I live now in Denver, Colorado USA. One fits, the other doesn't!

Once I got the first line, it took about a day to write the rest. I consider it first draft quality, and sorely in need of fine tuning. I was so happy, though, to have something (*anything*) to enter, and am pleasantly surprised and grateful it did as well as it did, and for the kind words spoken of it.

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Posted 01 August 2010 - 10:00 PM

Congrats to Alistair and Len on their tie...and Salley!!


I had as my favorite, Salley's On My Own Now--- :) Good job, girl!!!

I had Alistair and Len's tied for 2nd place. Very very nice Lyrics

3rd for me was Fab's Twenty Years.

It is a hard thing to do without actually hearing it performed to the music, but I also tried to include the lyric content as well. All the lyrics, I hope will find their own melodies and we can hear them before long because they are all worthy of being put to music!!!

Thanks to Zeek for offering his music to the challenge. I attempted this, but felt I could not get it ready in time for the contest, with other things I had going on, but I can sing that tune in my sleep now... :lol:

Thanks to Jonie for running it and counting all the votes..

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I am beautiful; because I see my flaws.
I am a lover; because I have felt hate.
I am fearless; because I have been afraid.
I am wise; because I have been foolish.
and.. I can laugh; because I have known sadness

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#42 User is offline   Alistair S Icon

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Posted 02 August 2010 - 06:28 AM

View PostZeek, on 02 August 2010 - 12:10 AM, said:

Here's the original version, which is also posted for comments in the song feedback section.

Thanks again...

Zeek[/color]

http://soundclick.co...?songid=9452358


You know what? I think that would have won :)

Nicely done, Zeek! Thanks again for providing the music. I may have a quick go at knocking something up later today using my lyric, though I am hesitant having heard your version :(
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#43 User is offline   Salley Gardens Icon

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Posted 02 August 2010 - 09:19 AM

View PostAlistair S, on 02 August 2010 - 05:28 AM, said:

You know what? I think that would have won :)

Nicely done, Zeek! Thanks again for providing the music. I may have a quick go at knocking something up later today using my lyric, though I am hesitant having heard your version :(

Yeah, I give it a 9.87!

I'm hesitant about recording my version also. Not only do I not know my recording equipment, but the key is difficult for me... one octave is too high, and the other too low!

I think I'll be brave and make an attempt though, as I figure this isn't about showing off my performance abilities, but expressing as best I can how the lyrics fit the melody.

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Posted 02 August 2010 - 10:20 AM

If there's anyone who can't record or is afraid to sing, I'm happy to record a vocal for your lyric and send it to Zeek. Just PM me.
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#45 User is offline   Len Icon

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Posted 02 August 2010 - 10:39 AM

View Postdaddio, on 02 August 2010 - 06:20 PM, said:

If there's anyone who can't record or is afraid to sing, I'm happy to record a vocal for your lyric and send it to Zeek. Just PM me.

Don, you are a star. I'll be in touch!
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#46 User is offline   Billy Icon

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Posted 02 August 2010 - 11:23 AM

View PostLen, on 02 August 2010 - 11:39 AM, said:

View Postdaddio, on 02 August 2010 - 06:20 PM, said:

If there's anyone who can't record or is afraid to sing, I'm happy to record a vocal for your lyric and send it to Zeek. Just PM me.

Don, you are a star. I'll be in touch!



What a nice offer! And personally, I can't wait to hear Byzantine!

Billy

#47 User is offline   Salley Gardens Icon

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Posted 02 August 2010 - 11:57 AM

I managed to get a vocal track recorded (in Garageband) but don't have a means to convert it to WAV...

#48 User is offline   daddio Icon

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Posted 02 August 2010 - 12:01 PM

View PostSalley Gardens, on 02 August 2010 - 12:57 PM, said:

I managed to get a vocal track recorded (in Garageband) but don't have a means to convert it to WAV...


You can open it with Audacity and then convert it to wav. I'm sure there are other ways too but that's pretty easy. PM me if you need help.
Lately I'm feeling my inner dog.

"Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable"

"The music business is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side." Hunter S. Thompson

"The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over."
Hunter S. Thompson


"I pay no attention whatever to anybody's praise or blame. I simply follow my own feelings."
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart


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#49 User is offline   Salley Gardens Icon

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Posted 02 August 2010 - 12:12 PM

View Postdaddio, on 02 August 2010 - 11:01 AM, said:

You can open it with Audacity and then convert it to wav. I'm sure there are other ways too but that's pretty easy. PM me if you need help.

Oh! That was *scary* simple! It took me 30 seconds to Google Audacity, download, and figure out how to convert my file to WAV... I have a feeling I'll be spending a *lot* more time with this application.

Now if only it could make my vocals sound better and in tune... :rolleyes:

Thanks, Don!

#50 User is offline   Len Icon

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Posted 02 August 2010 - 12:18 PM

View PostSalley Gardens, on 02 August 2010 - 08:12 PM, said:

Now if only it could make my vocals sound better and in tune... :rolleyes:

Janet, there's an online service I'm using. It's called Daddiodacity; you send the lyrics and after a few days hey-presto!
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