"Sentiment" piano & strings instrumental? or does it need vocals?
Posted 27 January 2012 - 03:02 AM
I wrote this song a few years ago. Originally it was meant to be a ballad but when i play it to people everyone says it sound complete already. The lead voilin was meant to be a guide vocal melody.
So im interested in peoples opinions: should it remain instrumental or does it need vocals?
Also, id love any other comments anyone might have on any other aspect.
Posted 28 January 2012 - 02:12 AM
I must admit that I found some of those string patch swells almost a bit overbearing at times. You might want to ease back on those a bit.
What really surprised me, though, was the way it came down to solo violin and piano right at the end. I couldn't help but feel that it might have been nice to have experienced that sense of lightness and space earlier in the piece.
I don't think it needs vocals at all. But I'm not sure it completely stands up on its own either. If anything, I feel it needs visuals to compliment it. I found it quite visually evocative, and I can definitely imagine it accompanying a scene in a movie or video of some kind.
Posted 28 January 2012 - 03:47 AM
I agree with Simon about the strings. They kind of bury the piano. Used more sparingly they could achieve the powerful emotive building effect I think you're after?
I can imagine this piece starting off with a much longer gentle melancholy - before it builds. Perhaps even with some spatterings of a melody played on the higher piano keys - just to give it some identity. Know what I mean?
As it is it sounds more like a bed track. Something definitive for the ears to grab onto seems to be missing.
I definitely feel it should be a soundtrack/instrumental as apposed to having vocals added to it.
Posted 01 February 2012 - 09:42 PM
Though I'd love to hear where it goes with a vocal considering your work here. Could be really emotive and powerful.
Posted 04 February 2012 - 05:54 PM
I don't know if you write lyrics, but I think it might be transformational to make the song express the whole story or feeling of someone's lyrics, incluing the development of ideas that a good lyric has. Even if your goal is not for the song to be sung. Some people ask whether its easier to start with lyrics or music. For me I have to know what I want to say, to have a vision that I want the song to communicate. I might be inspired by a riff or sound, but it doesn't go anywhere, doesn't become something more without a story behind it. Then again I might be weird.
Posted 05 February 2012 - 12:21 PM
For me there were 2 pretty small problems.
1) the string patch has a swell that I got tired of. I think if you found a string patch that didn't swell so much, or edited the patch you have, it might work better. Better yet, vary it up. Use a swelling patch at times and a non-swelling patch at times. That'll take some work to figure out, but I'm pretty sure it would strengthen your piece.
2) A very simple thing - The mix gets a little muddy IMO and the way to fix it may be to simply roll off a little of the bass in the string patch.
Anyway, this is a really nice tune.
"Hammers don't build houses. People build houses.
A hammer is just a tool. But it's a powerful tool" - me
Posted 06 February 2012 - 03:59 PM
It sounds complete to me.
i liked the way you build the story.
The only nit i have is in the mix.
It sounds like all of the instruments are fighting for the same sound-space.
I'd try panning some of those instruments left and right so that they each can be heard distinctly.
It would be a much more emotional experience to listen to that.
Good luck with it.
Posted 13 February 2012 - 04:40 AM
Honestly I probably wont re-do this piece other than remixing(including changing up the string pad) it, I dont realy have the time or resources. I will however take all your comments onboard for future compostitions.
Thanks again, this is a great forum.