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"Sentiment" piano & strings instrumental? or does it need vocals?

#1 User is offline   drum Icon

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Posted 27 January 2012 - 03:02 AM

http://soundcloud.co...music/sentiment

I wrote this song a few years ago. Originally it was meant to be a ballad but when i play it to people everyone says it sound complete already. The lead voilin was meant to be a guide vocal melody.

So im interested in peoples opinions: should it remain instrumental or does it need vocals?

Also, id love any other comments anyone might have on any other aspect.

Thanks.

#2 User is offline   Simple Simon Icon

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Posted 28 January 2012 - 02:12 AM

There's a lot I like about this. There's definite" shape" to the piece - in terms of both the composition itself and the dynamics of it. The major/minor shift contributes nicely to this.

I must admit that I found some of those string patch swells almost a bit overbearing at times. You might want to ease back on those a bit.

What really surprised me, though, was the way it came down to solo violin and piano right at the end. I couldn't help but feel that it might have been nice to have experienced that sense of lightness and space earlier in the piece.

I don't think it needs vocals at all. But I'm not sure it completely stands up on its own either. If anything, I feel it needs visuals to compliment it. I found it quite visually evocative, and I can definitely imagine it accompanying a scene in a movie or video of some kind.

Cheers

Simon

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Posted 28 January 2012 - 03:47 AM

Hi,
I agree with Simon about the strings. They kind of bury the piano. Used more sparingly they could achieve the powerful emotive building effect I think you're after?
I can imagine this piece starting off with a much longer gentle melancholy - before it builds. Perhaps even with some spatterings of a melody played on the higher piano keys - just to give it some identity. Know what I mean?
As it is it sounds more like a bed track. Something definitive for the ears to grab onto seems to be missing.
I definitely feel it should be a soundtrack/instrumental as apposed to having vocals added to it.

#4 User is offline   Scotto Icon

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Posted 01 February 2012 - 09:42 PM

Sounds pretty complete to me. Strings are a little louder but other than than that it's hard to find anything wrong with it as an instrumental.

Though I'd love to hear where it goes with a vocal considering your work here. Could be really emotive and powerful.

#5 User is offline   Greg Ball Icon

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Posted 04 February 2012 - 05:54 PM

I guess I'm going to be the odd one, but I'm used to that. :) I think it would work better with a vocal. I didn't hear the string part as being the melody but as more of a pad. To me, being complete isn't so much about having a full sound as it is about taking the listener on a journey. That's why I would say in my opinion (and its only my opinion) that the song doesn't feel complete yet. There are some nice sounds but the chord and melody progression doesn't yet have the tension/climax/release, the development of an idea, or the beginning/middle/end of a story.

I don't know if you write lyrics, but I think it might be transformational to make the song express the whole story or feeling of someone's lyrics, incluing the development of ideas that a good lyric has. Even if your goal is not for the song to be sung. Some people ask whether its easier to start with lyrics or music. For me I have to know what I want to say, to have a vision that I want the song to communicate. I might be inspired by a riff or sound, but it doesn't go anywhere, doesn't become something more without a story behind it. Then again I might be weird.

Regards,
Greg

#6 User is offline   Ian Ferrin Icon

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Posted 05 February 2012 - 12:21 PM

I like this composition. It has a nice semi minimalist build to it.

For me there were 2 pretty small problems.

1) the string patch has a swell that I got tired of. I think if you found a string patch that didn't swell so much, or edited the patch you have, it might work better. Better yet, vary it up. Use a swelling patch at times and a non-swelling patch at times. That'll take some work to figure out, but I'm pretty sure it would strengthen your piece.

2) A very simple thing - The mix gets a little muddy IMO and the way to fix it may be to simply roll off a little of the bass in the string patch.

Anyway, this is a really nice tune.

Peace,

Ian
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#7 User is offline   DannyDep Icon

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Posted 06 February 2012 - 03:59 PM

Hi drum,
It sounds complete to me. :)
i liked the way you build the story.

The only nit i have is in the mix.
It sounds like all of the instruments are fighting :angry: for the same sound-space. :huh:

I'd try panning some of those instruments left and right so that they each can be heard distinctly.
It would be a much more emotional experience to listen to that.
Good luck with it. :)
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#8 User is offline   drum Icon

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Posted 13 February 2012 - 04:40 AM

Thanks everyone for the comments. Its good to get some real feedback from people who know what they are talking about rather than the generic responses i normally get from friends.

Honestly I probably wont re-do this piece other than remixing(including changing up the string pad) it, I dont realy have the time or resources. I will however take all your comments onboard for future compostitions.

Thanks again, this is a great forum.

-Adam.

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