Critique sessions are very popular
these days, and at any given session, we speak a great deal about song form. Songs have parts called verses,
choruses, bridges, tags, climbs and we can represent the order of these in a
song by using letters to represent the different parts. Thus a song might be of
the form A-B-A-B (verse-chorus-verse-chorus), A-B-A-B-C-B,
(verse-chorus,verse-chorus-bridge-chorus), A-A-A (verse-verse-verse), or
many other variations. We also
speak a great deal about song genre,
style, or type. We
refer to a song as a country tune, ballad, pop, folk, rock, protest song,
church hymn, rap, blues, torch song, show tune, etc. What we do not speak about often enough is song format. There are two primary song formats: lists and
stories. A song of any form
(ABAB) or of any genre (country, rock) can be either a list or a story. Writers often run into trouble when
operating in the borderland between the two, because they do not mix well. There are clear guidelines for successful
lists and story formats, so let's now
take a look a look at those.
What is a List Song?
A list song is one where:
(a) the main
point of the song (the focus) is stated completely in a single verse
(or
verse- chorus combination) i.e., any verse (or
verse-chorus) could stand on its own
as a complete unit, with
nothing further needed.
(b) each
subsequent verse re-states the same pointin a distinctly different way
(c) if any verse
is removed from the song, it is not critical to the sense or success of the song in
communicating the message.
(d) there is no
required relationship in time between events described in one verse and
those any other
What is a Story Song?
A story song is one where:
(a) The flow of the verses depicts a sequence
of events which in total make the song’s
point.
A single verse (or verse-chorus) is not
enough by itself to stand alone and convey the
message.
(b) if any verse is removed from the
song, something critical to the overall logic of the song
is lost
(c) the lyric addresses the six “W’s” , who, what, where,
when , why, and how
(d) there is an explicit or implicit relationshipin timebetween the events in the verses
(i.e., verse #2 occurs 3 hours
after verse #1)
It should be easy to tell the
difference between lists and stories, and it should be very easy to write a
“list” lyric, right? Well, let’s
take a look. Dan Fogelberg’s “Longer”
is clearly a list about the magnitude of his love. The only point of the song
is “I love you a lot”. All the lyrics just re-state that point using different
metaphors e.g., Longer than there are stars up in the heavens/ Higher than
any bird ever flew/Deeper than any forest primeval ... Sounds easy? We have to remember scope and semantic field. The metaphors are consistent with each
other in that they are all about natural things like forests, stars, birds,
fish, and oceans, and they are all
about “big” things. It would not be appropriate to insert an item about the
height of a skyscraper in a list of natural wonders, or an item about a grain
of sand in a list of big things. Lists must be crafted for consistency of scope
and semantic field to achieve maximum impact.
For another source of list songs, look
at church hymns? A quick look
through a hymnal will show that most hymns are 3-5 verses all of which re-state
the same message. Any single verse can stand alone, thus, hymns are list songs.
Well known examples are “America
the Beautiful”, with verses extolling different virtues of our country, and
“All Things Bright and Beautiful”,
about the natural world.
Another shape that a list song can take is that the first verse or
the chorus can state the song’s message in a general way and then all the
following verses can serve as more specific, supporting examples. In this case,
each verse can be internally consistent within itself regarding scope and
semantic field, but not necessarily consistent from verse to verse. This is
fine, as long as each verse states exactly the same message, and each verse
after the first serves as a specific supporting example of a more general case
presented in the first verse or chorus.
For an array of list songs, many of which are classics, look at
the work of Cole Porter, who was a master of the list format.
There are yet
other twists on lists... Let’s look at the lyrics from Billy Joel’s "Movin' Out":
Anthony
works in the grocery store saving his pennies for someday
Mama Leone
left a note on the door, she said
"Sonny move out to the country"
Working
too hard can give you a heart attack, you ought to know by now,
Who needs
a house out in Hackensack? Is that all you get for your money?
It seems
such a waste of time, if that’s what it’s all about,
If that’s
movin’ up, then I’m movin’ out.
Sergeant
O’Leary is walking the beat, at night he becomes a bartender
He works
at Mr. Cacciatore’s down on Sullivan Street, across from the Medical Center
He’s
trading in his Chevy for a Cadillac, you ought to know by now,
If he
can’t drive with a broken back, at least he can polish the fender
It seems
such a waste of time, if that’s what it’s all about,
If that’s
movin’ up, then I’m movin’ out.
It’s a song with an (A-A) format. Is it story or list?
Your first impulse might be to say it’s a story, but if you look closely, verse one and
verse two share no dependence on each other at all. They are both self-contained statements of the song’s
message. It is true that within
themselves. they are
short stories, but the overall song is a list of short stories or vignettes, each supporting a shared central idea. Another well known example is "Don't
Stop Believin'".
When writing the songs for my "High School My
School" CD, many of the concepts lent themselves to
the vignette format. Here's an
example of the vignette format, which I used in the song "Bein’
Cool". The central statement of the
chorus is:
"Bein’ cool – It ain’t so hot
if you are what you’re not".
Here are the verses:
(v1) Wiley Willy's walkin' down the
hall, trash talkin'
When Serena sidles
up and stops him right in his tracks
She says "You
better stop your messin'
See you really
ain't impressin me
And if you think you
are then you ain't got all the facts" - (to chorus)
(v2) Lita's so
elite, she says 'bout every guy
she'll meet
That they just
don't have the heat to hang with her very long
I say "You
know, if you're believing
That's why all your
friends are leaving
Well then let me
tell you now that you just got it all wrong - (to chorus)
(v3) Cheno is the man, everyone else is also-ran
If he's around
he'll put you down in any way that he can
I tell him man it's
just your call, but if you think you're standing tall
Well then let me
tell you now you're heading right for a fall - (to chorus)
Three verses,
each a separate scene, different
characters, not dependent on any other verse, but all setting up the same
central message of the chorus. I
again used the technique in "All
I Need is a Friend", where three independent vignettes each convey the same
message (alienation leads to
self-destructive behavior) and
each verse flows to the same chorus by way of a common pre-chorus . Here is the chorus:
I am poetry not yet written, a tale still too young to take wing
A symphony just getting set to
soar, a song not yet ready to sing
But I know, for these things to
grow and be all they can be in the end
I need someone there to care and
help all the hurt mend
All I need is a friend
Here are the verses:
( v1) Chiani disappears after school
I thought she had
it all together, she was nobody's fool
But she's feeling
like there's no one around
To give her life
direction, keep her feet on the ground
So she waits until
the end of each class
Then she hangs with
Jackie Daniels, a bottle, and a glass
People turn their
heads, choose not to see
I know about being
alone, it could be me (to chorus)
( v 2) Joshua has
been feeling down
It's another world
out there on the far side of town
That's the way his life's always been
Built a wall around
him, no one ever gets in
From lessons
learned and tears that he's cried
Always by himself,
Smith and Wesson by his side
People turn their
heads, choose not to see
I know about being
alone, it could be me (to chorus)
( v 3) Brianna
really needs to connect
She's feeling like
a castaway, relationship-wrecked
She's tried to
reach out for a hand
Someone to talk
to, someone to understand
The silence slowly
drives her insane
She spends her time
just floating with her friend Mary Jane
People turn their
heads, choose not to see
I know about being
alone, it could be me (to chorus)
In crafting your format, whether a
story or list, the guideline for
maximum effectiveness is :
(a) either all the verses should be interdependent for time and
context (a story);
or
(b) none of the verses should be
interdependent for time and context (a list).
Problems with song construction arise when some verses are
independent examples of something, and others in the same lyric bear a
sequential dependence on one of the other verses. In that case, you are mixing the two formats, and what you
really have is either
(a) a redundant verse (one of the
independent ones) - or
–
(b) an illogical/inconsistent verse
(one of the dependent ones).
This is a major cause of confusing and unfocused lyrics but is
often hard to bring out at a critique session because it may be difficult to
detect and explain at first glance.
If we look at actual story-songs which are not lists of vignettes,
we have classic examples like "Coward
of the County", "Taxi", "Big Bad John",
"Laurie", "Luka", "Moments", "The Wreck of
the Edmund Fitzgerald", "Christmas in the
Trenches",
"Copacabana", and "A Boy Named Sue".
All are sequences of verses which together, weave a complete tale, and
no single part can stand alone.
Every verse interrelates to all the others, and no verse can be removed
without losing a piece of logic.
Good story songs are more difficult to write than lists because of the
required connections of time and logic and consistency across all parts of the
lyric. For great examples of the
story format, listen to the body of work of Harry Chapin.
Some songs can be subtle about whether they are lists or stories,
but if you apply the tests listed above, you’ll find that if well written, they
are one type or the other. Pay
particular attention to the importance or non-importance of time. In songs that try to describe a moment or a feeling, it is easy to do as a list by
specifying characteristics of that moment (what do you see, how do you feel,
etc.), but it is extremely
difficult if not impossible to do as a story, because time isn’t flowing.
What about all those songs which just seek to express or evoke an
emotion, without a particular story or message? If you look closely, these types are songs are usually
random lists of emotive phrases or images, which may or may not have something
tying them together.
Oh baby you left me
You made me feel so sad
I’m gonna get my life together
You always smelled real bad
I
knew it when we met
You liked her more than me
But my brother in law sells cars
So I'll go where love is free
This is essentially a list of loosely related thoughts and
sentiments. There are many songs
written this way, and they usually need to rely on a great musical groove
to give them some traction. There's certainly nothing wrong with
that, but it raises the question, if you have a great musical groove, how much
would you increase the song’s appeal if you also had great lyrics? When people think of Disco, the last
thing they think about is "great lyrics!". Disco is first and foremost, dance music. However, a disco song does not preclude
having a solid set of story or list lyrics which are more than moaning,
groaning, and emoting. The example
mentioned above, "Copacabana", written by Jack
Feldman, Barry Manilow, and Bruce Sussman,is
pure disco, but it is also a well-told story of love, jealousy, and tragedy,
spanning many years. The same
musical production without the lyrical story would not likely have won
Manilow's only Grammy and spawned a TV musical.
The same holds true in the R&B genre, known more for groove
and mood than great lyrics, but listen to the well told tale of "Lady
Marmalade" (Bob
Crewe and Ken Nolan) and you'll see how lyrical content only
elevates a great groove and broadens appeal.
To help you
really think about it, listen to songs you really admire and look at their
format. Then look at your own
songs, verse by verse, and if they cannot easily be identified as a list or a
story, then perhaps some re-thinking may be in order.
For more: www.songcrafterscoloringbook.com
...Bill Pere